Parshat Yitro contains the first instance of the Ten Commandments in the Torah, a topic about which so much can be said. The Ten Commandments are a blueprint, a first step for the Israelites toward becoming a lawful society. There are infinite interpretations that can be explored when it comes to that particular section of this week’s parsha.
However, just before the Ten Commandments, we read a chapter of labor delegation and priority management that draws my rapt attention each and every time. It is as if there is a flashing neon sign in the text of the Torah asking us to take a moment and consider something entirely different before we engage with the Ten Commandments.
The chapter in question, Chapter 18 of Exodus, focuses on the character of Yitro, for whom the parsha is named.
Did you know that Yitro was the father-in-law of Moses?
Parshat Yitro likes to remind us of that fact. The identification of Yitro as the father-in-law of Moses occurs 11 times during the course of the chapter. Reading this parsha is almost comical.
“Yitro, the father-in-law of Moses,” or, “Yitro, Moses’ father-in-law,” or, “Moses saw his father-in-law, Yitro” — the Torah states it over and over again. Perhaps this is merely an identification as to who this character is in the text. After all, Moses’s father-in-law is also known by the names Reuel and Hobab elsewhere in the TaNaKh. However, I believe this repetition goes beyond a simple clarification of who, precisely, Yitro is to Moses.
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If you were wondering, he’s his father-in-law.
Moses cares about his father-in-law, and his father-in-law cares about him. They embrace, they address each other as fellows, they kiss each other. The Torah advises that this is how this relationship should be: full of affection.
Moses tells Yitro about everything that has happened since they have last seen each other. Yitro, Moses’s father-in-law, listens and responds with compassion. The Torah insists that this is how this relationship should be: full of empathy.
Yitro, the father-in-law of Moses, sees that his son-in-law is burned out from standing before all of his people day in and day out. Yitro offers his advice. The Torah suggests that this is how this relationship should be: full of support.
The Torah paints a picture for us. Yitro is the father-in-law. Through his relationship with Moses we learn how to navigate this peculiar relationship. Yitro is a resource, a source of love, family and wisdom for Moses.
The Torah is pointing us to the relationship, and it is a strange one! Having in-laws is complicated. When you get married, you sign on to an entirely different family and, all at once, you have an entirely new dynamic to contend with. In many cases, you have siblings-in-law, a mother-in-law, even grandparents-in-law, and, yes, a father-in-law.
Modern media will tell you that these people are a burden, people with whom there will be strife around holidays or who might nag you or who will judge you. However, the Torah insists that that is not the way things should go.
The Torah points to the relationship between Moses and his father-in-law, Yitro, perhaps as an ideal. This is the archetype, this is the paradigm for which we are meant to strive in our own relationships. Hopefully, when we look to the Torah and read about this wonderful connection between Moses and his father-in-law, full of affection, empathy and support, we see a reflection of our own relationships looking back at us.
