Mahjong, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Most recently, I felt cooler than cool when I found out movie star Julia Roberts’ favorite hobby is playing mahj!
Several of you have sent me a 2018 video clip that’s resurfacing of the Oscar-winning superstar discussing why she loves to play the tile game.
“The concept of it is to create order out of chaos based on the random drawing of tiles,” the “Pretty Woman” star told “Late Night” host Stephen Colbert.
Oh, Julia, you wise middle-age minx. Yes, we’re on a first name basis now. We’re mahjong sisters. Mahjong schvesters.
Between all the mishegas of the election dramala and the overabundance of pumpkin-flavored products in the stores, I thought the only thing I would enjoy about autumn was sweater weather. Then the TikTok algorithm brought Julia and her smart perceptions about mahjong to us. She’s like a reincarnation of the wise old owl from the Tootsie Pop commercial. In fact, in that same interview with Stephen Colbert, she said that mahjong involves wisdom and kindness.
I don’t know how it is in your mahj group, but in mine, when someone wins, we all applaud and congratulate the player who walks away 75 cents richer. It sounds like Julia’s friend group does the same, except they probably play for $100 bills instead of quarters. Sometimes I wonder why I’m not rich and successful like her, and then I spend 10 minutes searching for my sunglasses, find them on my head, and think, “Bingo!” that’s why.
Your group might play bridge or bunko, but don’t you think all of these “clubs” are really just eating and talking clubs? Julia says of her group: “It’s about food, and we catch up and we play mahjong, and it’s just a great joy.”
Ditto! It’s a reason to hang out with your friends and sometimes form new groups that work well together. There are groups within groups, too, like little offshoots of friendship, which I think is so cool. The more the merrier. And, yes, the conversation always ends up about food. It’s either what is being served and where it was purchased, or what someone is cooking for dinner tonight.
If your friends are immature like mine, the food conversation can get a little too descriptive, like the time we talked about foods that smell like feet or tooting but taste delicious. Fritos, cruciferous vegetables and many of your best cheeses fall into this category. What a coincidence that those are the nibbles we’re serving at mahj. P.U. and mmmm mmmm good.
I’m willing to bet my mahjong money that someone in Julia’s group makes fart jokes from time to time, but they’re probably really high class, expensive, fashionable fart jokes.
If I could assemble a fantasy mahjong celebrity group, I would have Mindy Cohn from “The Facts of Life” obviously, Michelle Obama and the ghost of Joan Rivers.
As for Julia’s group — she says there are eight women. That’s too many. Only four can play at a time. So maybe hers has two games going on simultaneously at two diamond encrusted card tables covered with baccarat crystal tiles in walls built by her servants.
The eight jokers might feature pictures of her leading men — Richard Gere, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, Hugh Grant, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, Matt Damon and then another Matt Damon joker because he’s my celebrity crush. This would be the one and only time jokers would be allowed in a pair.
Julia said about mahjong: “It’s sort of like life. We try to make a little bit of order out the chaos of life, just with our random acts of hopefully kindness and wisdom.”
Julia Roberts is obviously thinking the same thing we are, that mahjong is a celebration of friendship, spending time together and having fun with your favorite people. Lucky for her she happens to be gorgeous and funny, like we are.
Stars, they’re just like us.
