Oct. 7 is an important day in my life, but not for the reasons you are thinking. You see, 26 years ago today, my daughter Isabella was born. Her sweet smile was contagious from the very beginning. She was our first child, and as a result I did not really have any idea what I had gotten myself into. But I knew my life had changed, and that it had been changed for the better.
A strange thing happened on the morning we were to leave the hospital, notwithstanding my wife Kara’s and my pleas that we were not sufficiently prepared for parenting and that it would be criminal for them to send us home with a newborn. As Kara took a shower I had a few private moments with Isabella. Curled up on the hospital bed, I remember promising to always look out for her and keep her safe. These were the sweet sentiments of a first-time dad, not realizing how complex the world truly was, and how much such a promise was out of my control.
I never imagined the horrors that befell our community on Oct. 7, 2023. That it happened on Isabella’s 25th birthday only exacerbates the cruelty of it all. We have all felt many emotions over the last year, from sorrow and outrage to vulnerability and fear. We have wept and prayed with our friends and family, and we have supported one another to carry on – to make the most of our world around us, whatever condition it happens to be in.
But the hardest part for me personally has been seeing the impact of recent events on my children. Isabella is a fierce defender of the truth. She cares passionately for the well-being of those around her, for the Jewish community and also the wider community. Social justice runs deep within her.
So when some of her non-Jewish friends refused to speak with her in the days following Oct. 7, Isabella felt isolated, abandoned and confused. Not confused about what she believed in, but confused about how important it was to some people to simply be “right” in their perspective, and to not be willing to hear another one. I think she was also a bit scared in seeing first-hand how the brutality of the mob could be turned against innocent people.
Of course, we all had this experience over the past year in different ways. And we have all dealt with it in our own ways, too.
I took note early on that so many people in the broader community were genuinely concerned for what had happened, and the toll it was taking on our Jewish community. I heard from civic leaders, business leaders and ordinary people who are just friends.
I know the vast majority of St Louisans (and Americans for that matter) recognize Hamas for what it is, and find the pro-Hamas protests absurd. I know that most of these people fervently believe in Israel’s right to defend itself. I even had a Catholic colleague stop me recently to ask for a primer on why Israelis were protesting in the streets – he thought it was obvious that Israel was within its rights to continue prosecuting this war.
We need to remind one another of this regularly, and not be so taken in by the headlines made by the protestors and the messaging from the fringe. For sure, we can — and must — all care deeply for the well-being of Israelis AND Palestinians without showing any support for Hamas and what they have done. And we must speak out against antisemitic messaging and tropes being deployed with reckless abandon. I am encouraged by this widely held sentiment in our Jewish community and among our wider circles.
Watching the St Louis community come together to support one another, and to raise millions of dollars to support our friends and family members in Israel, has been uplifting and inspiring. For those keeping score, we raised $4.3 million through Federation, and when we stopped counting we noted over $3 million more that went directly to causes in Israel from our community members. We did that in a year where our annual campaign grew, as did our endowment and other restricted funding. This is truly a generous and supportive community, and I am grateful to so many in this community for their efforts in this regard.
Federation has been convening many of our partners on a consistent basis with extra emphasis on our partners who are building community relations and fighting antisemitism. Our community’s rabbis have coordinated together too, even across the various movements of practice. This coordination and shared purpose have given us strength as we do our work. I am hopeful it will continue, making our community better. We truly need each other.
That the war started by Hamas on Oct. 7 is not over is disappointing. That so many hostages remain in captivity, that Hamas remains capable of inflicting suffering and death on so many still today, that Palestinians and Israelis seem so far apart from a lasting peaceful resolution of their conflict – these things all worry us. That Iran and its proxies know their power and influence in the region is challenged by a more hopeful vision of the future embodied in the Abraham Accords and desire in the Arab world to simply move on is also encouraging, though obviously the danger posed by them is real and concerning too.
But just as we as a people have overcome threats against us through the ages, I truly believe we will overcome the threats of today as well, so that my daughter, and yours, and indeed all of our people, can celebrate future birthdays unencumbered by hatred, fear and isolation.
