I’ve got good news and bad news. Good news first.
Ed Sheeran says you’re perfect. Aretha Franklin thinks you’re wonderful. Billy Joel loves you just the way you are.
The bad news – someone out there disagrees.
Don’t be paranoid, we’re not all talking behind your back and saying bad things about you. Not all of us, just like one or two people. This realization is based on a phrase seen all over the internet…
“No matter how good of a person you are, you’re a jerk in someone’s story.” The real phrase uses a stronger word than “jerk” not fit for print.
It’s fun to go through life with rose colored glasses, assuming you’re cool with everyone. But lurking in your world, probably adjacent to your social or professional circle, someone really doesn’t like you.
If you’re a good, kind person, and I know you are, you probably don’t even realize that someone gives you two thumbs down. What if you said something that came off as rude, or the other person took offense to something you said casually. Perhaps you’re prettier (obviously), funnier (duh), or more accomplished (you go!). Every time you’re at a gathering being your sweet, fabulous self they seethe with jealousy at your effortless charm and likeability.
Another saying is that it’s OK if not everyone likes you because you probably don’t like everyone. That’s just basic math. It is simply not possible to be liked by everyone. Even Elmo has haters. It could be the red fur, the baby voice, or the way Elmo refers to Elmo in the third person. Elmo doesn’t like when people don’t like Elmo, but Elmo understands it’s human nature, even though Elmo is not human.
There is someone I cannot stand because I find them rude, petty and not a nice person. However, they have a bunch of really lovely friends. We have friends in common, wonderful people who seem to have common sense and kindness. So why are they friends with the local villain? How can they not see what I see?
Trying to be friends with someone you just don’t like is the equivalent to watering a dead plant. You can try all you want, but it’s not going to get you anywhere.
Some people give a great first impression, but then you get to know them better and realize you were wrong. They seemed a little bit mean but then you learn they’re a lot meaner.
If you don’t want to be around these types of people but you have to, figure out a way to add a tariff to your self-worth. If they make you feel bad when you’re with them, but you’re kind of stuck with them, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to create an invoice of some kind. And at the end of the year send them a W2 for being in your business so much.
To avoid misunderstandings, we should put body cams on people. Not just police, I’m talking civilians. Teacher body cams would show how your kids behave at school. They’re probably sweet and respectful but sass you up, down, left and right when they’re at home. Or they could be mean little snots to other kids, maybe even bullies, and your jaw will drop when you see their true out-of-the-house colors.
If employers wore them, then kids could see how their parents act on the job. Is Daddy a professional, or a professional micro-manager? Is Mommy always overbearing, cutting her co-worker’s sandwiches or is she more laid back, letting them fend for themselves like big boys and girls? Mom and Dad might not walk the walk they want the kids to walk at home.
Back to my local nemesis. Perception is key. Maybe I’m the one not seeing things clearly. My experience of them being evil might have been a mix up on my part. Since they have so many nice people on their side, I’m likely the one whose perspective is off.
Actually, maybe not. I saw them being a stupid jerk-face with my own two eyes. Stories without an antagonist are boring anyway, so they can be mine.
For your own safety, please be sure to look both ways before crossing me.
