We have a new president in office, whether you like it or not. While politics notoriously divides people, the latest election really seems to have created a rift across the country and in many of our own little worlds. Friendships have ended. Family members are not as close, or not even speaking, because of who is in the Oval Office.
In a very unscientific poll, I talked to friends and family about this topic. Of those who are upset with who our new president is, every single one cited Donald Trump’s ethical and moral choices, behaviors such as public insults and outbursts, and felony convictions as reasons why they are so disgusted with who is leading our country for the next four years.
Of those who are happy Trump is in office, every single one cited the choice to look past those things in favor of how they believe he will run the country, most saying they found him to be a better choice than Kamala Harris.
While many I’ve spoken to say they just don’t discuss politics with their friends, some say they have cooled on friendships in which they lost respect for someone they thought so highly of thinking so highly of someone they find despicable.
Others say they want to listen to the other side, fascinated with what makes people feel inclined to vote differently from them.
“Political beliefs are just one tiny facet of what makes that person who they are,” one person said, “and I choose to focus on the whole person and all the other things I love about them … even if we differ in our political beliefs.”
Rabbi Amy Feder of Congregation Temple Israel said, “In this past election, there were reasons that different members of our community felt strongly that each candidate would be best not just for the nation but specifically for the Jewish people. The people I spoke with — family, friends, congregants — were all kind, intelligent people who care about making the world a better place and who put thought into who they voted for.”
This raises the question: How can you look past someone’s illegal and immoral actions to support them? And I’m not just talking about the president. What about entertainers accused or convicted of things such as sex crimes, violence against women or hate speech? Are we comfortable spending money on movies and music from these artists? Do we feel guilty enjoying their work, or is it tainted by their reputations?
For many, it’s hard to believe that cable TV channels are still airing “The Cosby Show” after Bill Cosby was accused of sexual assault by more than 60 women. Yet a flick of the remote control could land you on the scene where Rudy Huxtable lip synchs to Ray Charles. So cute. But when Cosby himself appears on screen, what do you think?
“The moral issues relate to how we feel enjoying the art of a morally corrupt human,” says Jenny Hoffman, a licensed clinical social worker with the Therapy and Wellness Collective. “At the heart of the matter, there is conflict between appreciating art and the feeling that we are somehow condoning the actions of the artist. Some feel that enjoying the art creates a culture that encourages this amoral behavior.”
Those I asked said they might still listen to a Michael Jackson song when it comes on the radio, but they can’t hear his voice without thinking of the child sex abuse accusations against him.
While the quality of work and artistic accomplishments shouldn’t be diminished, how we view the individual has changed for the worse, most said.
Should we feel guilty jamming out to Jackson, P. Diddy, Kanye West and more? Hoffman said it’s up for interpretation.
“There is no right or wrong answer here,” she said. “We all have our moral lines, and I encourage us to have thoughtful discord and discussion about our values related to this topic. It is through thoughtful discussion we can understand our own values and those of others.”
One friend I spoke with summed it up the best, so let’s end with her wise quote:
“We need to be careful with guilt. Jewish guilt or not, it becomes suffocating if we take on guilt for things that are not within our control, especially at the expense of enjoyment.
“I’m also confident most of America will not stop the convenience of Amazon or Walmart shopping regardless of how they feel about Jeff Bezos or the Waltons, and how they run their corporations. You can find an issue and feel guilt for anything and everything. And then you’ll be left with nothing.”
