I lost my dad, Dr. Allen Palmer, on Friday. And as I sit in my backyard this glorious Sunday evening, I find myself reflecting on what I actually learned from the man. There are a few very specific things—but none of them happened in some dramatic movie scene.

The truth is the best lessons weren’t things he said. He wasn’t a lecture guy. He didn’t sit me down with life advice. Instead, he showed up, did the work, lived his values and—occasionally—dropped something that stuck forever.

To make this a little more relatable for anyone who isn’t me, I found some real-life quotes that, had he said them, would’ve made for some pretty poignant movie moments. He didn’t say these. But he lived them. And I learned.

1. “The key to being an awesome person is aging without maturing.” — Unknown

It’s a quote I came across somewhere—no name attached. But it hits.

My dad never said that. But he did say something better—something real. One of the only lines he actually repeated and meant: “Don’t kill the kid,” with special figurative focus on the word ‘kid.’

He said it to other parents, to friends, to anyone watching their kid get too serious too fast. But I think he meant it for everyone. There’s a part of you that’s impulsive, curious, playful and fully alive—and he believed that part shouldn’t get buried under bills, business cards and, in my case, school.

He parented me, for sure. But he let me be the smartass, the rule-bender, the full version of myself—and he made it safe for that kid to stick around.

“Don’t kill the kid” wasn’t a throwaway line. It was his quiet philosophy. And now, it’s mine.

2. “The only job where you’re underqualified, can’t quit, work 24 hours a day and pay for the privilege is called parenting.” — Probably every exhausted parent ever

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My dad, who was an OBGYN, delivered thousands of babies, often at insane hours. There were mornings I’d wake up in a hospital lounge, waiting for him to finish a delivery. But somehow, I never felt like he wasn’t there for me. He existed in two dimensions—one where he saved lives and one where he still made it to my game or showed up in that subtle, steady way only he could.

He never explained what being a father meant. He just was one. Fully. Even when he wasn’t there.

He understood what parenting really is: the hardest job in the world—and you pay them for the privilege.

3. “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it… he who doesn’t, pays it.” — Albert Einstein

Before I left for my first TV job in Knoxville—$17.5K salary—my dad marched me into the office of his friend, Steve, the “money guy.” Steve opened a mutual fund and told me to put away $100 a week. I looked at him like he’d asked me to buy a boat.

We settled on $25 a week. Then—again, if this were a movie—he would’ve quoted Einstein. He never did. He probably didn’t even know Einstein said it. But he understood it. And eventually, so did I.

4. “First, you make a roux.” — Every New Orleans grandma ever

I once asked my dad for the secret to his famous steak soup—the one he made every New Year’s Day, feeding friends, neighbors and whoever wandered in with a spoon.

He said, “It’s the roux.”
I blinked. “What the hell is a roux?”

He explained: equal parts flour and fat, whisked slowly over low heat. And without meaning to, he handed me one of the best metaphors I’ve ever carried.

A roux teaches patience. You have to stir it, watch it and take your time. If you rush it or burn it, you start over. If you nail it, the rest might actually turn out edible—or at least salvageable.

Years later, I married a woman from New Orleans—where “it all depends on the roux” is practically the state motto. So either my dad was prophetic… or just accidentally Cajun. Either way, he was right.

5. “Let your work speak for itself.” — Unattributed

He wasn’t one to brag. If you wanted to know what kind of doctor he was, you had to ask his patients. They’d tell you: he stayed late, he listened, he fought for them. He named his practice Womens’ Care—not because it was clever, but because that’s exactly what it was.

He didn’t make noise. He made things better. And I paid attention.