Welcome to FOR MEN ONLY, continued. Last time, I mentioned that when a man is interested in a woman, often he will start making physical contact too soon into the relationship, before the woman has had a chance to develop the essential emotional connection. This is a complaint I hear frequently from women. If you are fortunate enough to feel attraction to a woman, why not wait until at least the third or fourth meeting to ascertain that the two of you are beginning a real connection on an emotional level? Some women tell me that if the man has moved too fast, they won’t even consider another date with him. Not fair? No, not to either one of you, but I side with the female on this topic. Are you really paying attention to her signals or are you thinking only of satisfying your own immediate desires? Has she invited you to come back to her place for a while, or have you invited yourself in? Either way, unless both of you are truly ready it’s better to wait until a later time.

So what to do instead of making the moves on her? Talk about your interests, your passions! Her interests and passions! Your goals and ideas. Not your skeletons in the closet. And please, not your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. And don’t ask her why she’s never been married or why she’s divorced. What do the two of you have in common? On your next date, perhaps you can participate together in one of those activities. This is what building a lasting relationship is based on, not how your libido is doing. Are you remembering to open all doors for the woman, walk her to her door or to her car, clean out your car if she’ll be riding in it? And remember to shower and shave right before your date. I kid you not. I don’t mean to nag like your mother, but this is what I hear again and again from the ladies.

If you are interested in improving yourself for a relationship now or later, take a look at the book, It’s (Mostly) His Fault: For Women Who are Fed Up and the Men Who Love Them by Robert Mark Alter.

Best wishes, and feel free to contact me at [email protected] for questions or comments.