Happy Hanukkah! The candles are lit, the wax is dripping, the latkes are sizzling, and the house will smell like it for a week. Let’s celebrate the miracle of Hanukkah with eight random thoughts, one for each night, from my brain to yours.

1. I don’t like when companies misspell their name to be cute, like Kwik-E-Mart or Oreo Double Stuf. Why, if it’s double, would they use a single f? I don’t need my cheat snack to some with a side of irony. Oreo Double Stuf should have double fs. I don’t give a single f why they did that, but it’s a waste of creativity if you ask me. Which you didn’t. Someone on the Oreo branding team should have realized that double stuFF, with two capital Fs, would have been a genius marketing move. More StuFF. Double the StuFF. If you want to be really cute, Oreo, misspell “double.”   DuBBle StuFF. And split open one of your amazing cookies, place one circle above the other, and use that to make your Bs. Super cute. You’re welcome, Oreo.
2. I would be in great shape if it weren’t for food. And exercise.  And society.
3. Sometimes the world is insane. Sometimes it’s just your world that’s insane.
4. I’m coining the phrase “sphere of fear.” This is when you get stuck running around in circles in your brain, worrying about things over and over. It’s the sort of like a vicious cycle, it just sounds more impressive.
5. Do you question and re-question yourself about things from the past? Samesies. Like, all the time. Last week when I was at Target, I went to the baby area and looked at car seats just to make sure I got the right thing for my kids. They are now 15 and 16 years old.
6. I was once told that one of the main jobs in parenting is to be a wall between your kids and the world. I think it might be better to be a window because the kids can open it to crawl through it whenever they’re ready. Fenster is the German word for “window.” That’s why I always say, “When one door closes, a Fenster opens.”
7. There’s nothing more dangerous than a wide-awake mom with internet access.
8. When I know I’m going to have a really full day I do some prep the night before, like setting out clothes and packing my lunch. My good intentions really take over. The next day when lunch rolls around, I have no idea who the person was who packed it. Last night, all high and mighty on my genius timesaving move of prepping, I packed a bunch of boring healthy food. Today Me is never pleased. Lunchtime Me is a totally different person than Last Night Me, what with the morning I’ve had and all. While Last Night Me felt noble enough to think Tomorrow Me would be happy with yogurt, berries, and raw carrots, Today Me is hangry for a pb&j, chips and a chocolate pudding. I’m so mad at Last Night Me. Thank goodness Last Weekend Grocery Shopping Me thought to buy Double Stuf Oreos, even though they spelled it wrong.