“A young boy was standing along the edge of the river. A man approached him and inquired, ‘What are you waiting for?’ Without hesitation the youth replied, ‘I am waiting for that steamboat to pick me up.’
‘Foolish boy,’ said the man, ‘boats don’t stop everywhere. You must wait at the pier.’ The boy did not reply, and to the amazement of the stranger, the boat turned to pick up the youngster.
‘You see!’ exclaimed the boy as he boarded the boat, ‘My father is the captain.’ ”
Faith comes in various guises and moments. Jacob, fleeing from his brother, came to a certain place (Makom — used as a name for God) and rested for the night. And he dreams, “a stairway was set on the ground, and its top reached the sky, and angels of God were going up and down on it.”
Upon awakening, Jacob said, “Surely God is present in this place, and I did not know it!” Shaken, he said, “How awesome is this place! This is non other than the abode of God, and that is the gateway to heaven.” Jacob found faith in the darkness of the night. He knew he was not alone.
In the still of the night, when I cannot see my palm in front of my eyes, I rely upon the angels. My prayers ascend on their wings as they steadily climb the stairwell to heaven. And slowly, in its due course, the answers are returned to my soul.
Knowing that God is in every place in which I travel or dwell, is a source of comfort. Like the child awaiting the steamboat, my God is traveling towards me, wherever I am waiting. I find that from my deepest anguish, my strongest faith emerges. As Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks wrote, “The deepest crisis of your life can turn out to be the moments when you encounter the deepest truths and acquire your greatest strengths.” And in the moments of joy, I also embrace faith. In the moments of everyday living, I open my soul to a steady faith that walks the daily path of mundane moments. Faith, for me, is not something to be embraced for convenience. Rather, it is a constant companion.
From the moment of birth, Jacob struggled. He was surrounded by conflict: his brother, his wives, his father-in-law and then his children. And yet, he struggled and found faith. But he chose God. As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote in “Judaism’s Life-Changing Ideas”: “Abraham was called by God, Isaac was chosen before his birth. Moses, Joshua, Samuel, David, Isaiah and Jeremiah were all singled out by God for their mission.”
Professor Jonathan Klawans explains, “Jacob seems to have found the (even hashtiyya), the connection place between Heaven and Earth.” I think this is where Jacob met his true self. Perhaps this is where we each close our eyes, dream the dreams that are needed, find our angels and connect with the Divine, both within and around.
The gamatria (numerical value of letters) of the word ladder and the word Sinai are the same. Both total 130. When we begin an ascent, we climb closer to the Sinai of our lives. It is a continuous climb. Is your ladder steady or precarious? Is it portable moving with you through the moments of daily living?
Rabbi Karyn Kedar wrote, “The 11th century poet and biblical commentator Rabbi Solomon ibn Gabirol believed that the ladder and angels in Jacob’s dream reflect the spiritual nature of the human condition. According to Gabirol, Jacob believed that our souls yearn to be close to God. Spiritual ascension is possible and the angels in the dream represent the wisdom we acquire as we practice spiritual living.”
Our tradition embraces the struggle. To be a Jewish soul is one who struggles with God. The struggle, the search for faith, is on-going, as is the ascent to Sinai. We are each Jacob.
“A woman was showing a beautiful, massive piece of family silver. As she took it from the cupboard where it had been kept, she apologized, saying, ‘Dreadfully tarnished!’ I can’t keep it bright unless I use it.’ How true this is of faith. It cannot be tucked away from some emergency. It cannot be kept bright unless it is constantly used.”
What’s Your “Faith Journey” Style?
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