True story. Recently I walked into a public restroom and saw a young mother with a little boy about 2 years old. He was rolling around on the ground — the bathroom floor! — looking under the occupied stall. I asked whether they were in line, and the mom said no, just waiting for her daughter. 

This slightly softened the blow of the little boy peeking under the stall, but not the fact that he was essentially wiping the floor with his clothed body and unclothed open palms. The stall door opened and the little girl, about 4 years old, said to me, “You can come in.” She showed me how the lock on the door worked and where the toilet paper was. The mom told her to say goodbye, and they were off — without washing their hands. 

This sweet woman taught her kids three things most parents don’t: Privacy is not important, germs don’t exist and it’s OK to talk to strangers. Gross, gross and, well, maybe not so gross. 

ADVERTISEMENT

Most parents tell their kids not to talk to strangers and then run through scenarios of “stranger danger” to keep them safe. As adults, though, we talk to strangers all the time — in line at the grocery store, at parties and on airplanes. 

Could Bathroom Mommy have been channeling the Irish poet William Butler Yeats, credited with the quote: “There are no strangers here, only friends you haven’t met yet?” Over time, that phrase has morphed into, “A stranger is a friend you haven’t met,” still giving credit to Yeats. 

Bravo’s and St. Louis’ Andy Cohen famously had such an encounter several years ago. From his New York City  window, he saw a bunch of guys on a nearby rooftop dressed as Santa Claus. Andy started talking about it on Instagram. The Santa guys saw it and through social media invited Andy to come join the party, right around the corner from his place. So Andy did. 

ADVERTISEMENT

One of the Santa dudes said, “Every friend was once a stranger.” And just like that, Andy invited a couple of the Santas to appear on his “Watch What Happens Live” show to bartend and share the stranger-turned-friend meet-cute encounter. 

Chances are Li’l Bathroom Bits and I were not going to become friends or mahjong partners, not because of the age gap, but because I’m not doing a Charleston of tiles with people who don’t wash their hands after going pishie. But the adage is true, every friend was a stranger at some point.

My friend Stephanie (once a stranger, of course) was on a flight more than 20 years ago, sitting next to a friendly young man named Mike, who mentioned he was traveling to visit his long-distance girlfriend. They spent the hours chatting, connecting and becoming true friends. Then Mike asked, “Are you single?” 

She thought, “Dude, you just told me you have a whole girlfriend.” 

Turns out Mike thought Stephanie would be a great match for his friend Paul. Was Mike ever right. Paul and Stephanie have been married for 19 years, all because random strangers started a pleasant conversation. 

Rabbi Amy Feder of Congregation Temple Israel had an existential chat with a stranger on a plane. It was the summer after her freshman year of college. She was flying to D.C. to see the Beastie Boys in concert. Such a 19-year-old thing to do. 

On the flight, the lady next to her kept asking what Feder wanted to do with her life, which stressed her out. 

“I unloaded on her about my complete lack of direction in life, and she turned out to be so nice about it, even though we had also identified that I was Jewish and she was really into Jesus,” Feder recalls.\※We talked the whole flight and, at the end of it, Rayella said (because we had introduced ourselves by then) —  and I remember this clear as crystal: 

“ ‘Amy, everyone has just one job in life, and that is to figure out every gift that God has given you, everything that you’re good at, everything you love to do, and then you have to spend your life doing them.\That’s your purpose, and that’s your gift back to God.’ ” 

The ladies hugged goodbye, and Feder spent the weekend in a lightning storm at the Tibetan Freedom Festival where she had an epiphany while fighting for her right to party. 

“I realized that everything I was really good at and liked to do in some way connected to Judaism,” she said. “So the one way I could do what she suggested was to become a rabbi.” 

Thank you, Rayella. Amen.

So go ahead and chat up a stranger. It’s actually a Jewish thing to do: Hachnasat Orchim, the Jewish value of welcoming guests, including strangers. Offering them hospitality is considered a mitzvah. You never know what may come of this mitzvah — a restaurant recommendation, a new client, an invitation to a book club. A pleasant, kind encounter is just what we could all use.

Maybe Bathroom Mommy is just teaching her little public potty prince and princess to do a mitzvah, to be kind and friendly. Maybe the kids know to not talk to strangers when mommy isn’t around. 

Unfortunately, no amount of kindness is going to clean the germs off her kids’ hands and bodies. So gross.