I first heard Mayer Klein talk about his mentor during the Staenberg Speaker Series event last month. Klein was speaking to a room full of young professionals about the importance of community, and his words stuck with me. He talked about the quiet, often unnoticed influence a man named Kenny Spetner had on him over the years, a relationship that took root not through formal lessons or structured guidance, but through steady, day-to-day example.
How They Met
Klein first met Spetner in the late 1970s, shortly after moving to St. Louis from Baltimore for law school. He had studied in yeshiva with Rabbi Robby Klatsky, Spetner’s son-in-law, who encouraged him to connect with Spetner. The idea of studying Torah with someone nearly 40 years his senior felt daunting, but Klein decided to take the leap.
“Kenny was 58 and I was 21,” Klein said. “Obviously there’s a significant age gap, and he had never gone through formal yeshiva training like I had. I wondered how that would work out.” But from their first meetings, Klein realized he had found someone special—an eternal optimist with a spiritual enthusiasm that resonated deeply. They committed to nightly study sessions, Monday through Thursday, twice on Shabbat—a routine they maintained for 16 years.
A Different Kind of Influence
Spetner never branded himself as a mentor. He didn’t hold court or dispense wisdom from a pedestal. Instead, he quietly modeled the kind of life Klein wanted to live, blending professional success with deep personal conviction. What struck Klein most was how Spetner’s influence came not through direct advice, but through the quiet power of example.
Spetner’s approach to life wasn’t just about blind optimism. It was a conscious choice to find meaning in every experience, to frame both success and failure as part of a broader, purpose-driven journey. Klein absorbed this mindset, learning to approach life with a sense of gratitude and resilience that has shaped his own career and personal outlook.
Lessons Without Lectures
One of the most striking things about Spetner’s approach was his reluctance to explicitly tell others what to do. “He never told me what to do,” Klein said. “Never said, ‘You should do this’ or ‘You should be this.’ He lived his life a certain way and let others draw their own conclusions.”
This approach to mentorship stands in stark contrast to the more structured, corporate-style mentoring often encouraged today. Spetner’s influence was more about providing a living blueprint—a way of being that others could choose to follow or not. In Klein’s case, it worked. He picked up on Spetner’s commitment to giving, his disciplined work ethic, and his dedication to lifelong learning.
Perhaps most importantly, Klein absorbed Spetner’s habit of finding purpose in every action. “Don’t just do various things,” Spetner would say. “Define your purpose.” For Spetner, that purpose was building Torah and supporting Jewish education. For Klein, it became about using his skills as a lawyer to support his community in meaningful ways.
The Power of Example
Spetner’s influence extended beyond the lessons of Torah study. He lived his values in every aspect of his life, turning his principles into daily habits. Well into his 60s, he swam regularly, having installed a pool in his backyard to keep himself physically strong for his nightly Torah studies. He believed in the power of small, consistent habits, often telling Klein, “Life is a matter of habit, so you might as well make good ones.”
This commitment to purposeful living extended to how he handled setbacks. Klein recalled watching Spetner fundraise for various charitable causes. When someone would decline to donate, Spetner never took it personally. Instead, he framed it as a missed opportunity for the potential donor, often saying they simply didn’t merit the chance to give at that moment. It wasn’t a judgment, but a reminder that giving was a privilege, a chance to be part of something larger. This mindset, Klein said, taught him to see both success and rejection as part of a broader, purpose-driven life.
A Mentor Without the Title
Spetner’s influence, Klein believes, is a reminder that mentorship doesn’t always come with a title or a formal program. It often happens quietly, in the background, as one person lives their values and another takes notice. “It’s like GPS,” Klein said. “Someone else has gone this way before. They know the path. You can follow it or not, but it’s there.”
Decades after their first study session, Klein still carries Spetner’s lessons with him. They’ve shaped his career, his family life, and his sense of purpose. As Klein’s story shows, sometimes the most profound lessons come not from those who intend to teach, but from those who simply live well.
