Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights, marks the reclamation and rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem by a small group of Jews who miraculously defeated a much larger army. Adding to the miracle, when these Jews lit the menorah, the last of their oil — only one night’s worth — lasted a full eight nights, which is why we celebrate Hanukkah, which begins this year on Dec. 2, by lighting the menorah for eight nights in a row and eating foods fried in oil. 

But of course Hanukkah is much more than a candle lighting; it is observed by many as a time for gathering with family and friends, and countless traditions have sprung up around it over the years, such as the ones below.

Rabbi Jim Bennett, senior rabbi at Congregation Shaare Emeth

Bennett, 60, considers himself a traditionalist when it comes to Hanukkah celebrations. As his three children, now in their 20s, grew up, a number of family traditions grew as well. They emphasized spending quality time with family and friends, and celebrating the light and warmth that the holiday represents. The family would share not only their meals, but the preparation as well, and has experimented with a variety of latke recipes; although Bennett still favors the traditional potato, their sweet potato latkes are popular as well. 

Friends and family play games of dreidel with a spirit of friendly competition, and when it comes time to light the candles, they turn off the other lights in the house. Each family member has his/her own menorah, and lights them together on the table at the front window, so that the light from their seven or eight menorahs not only fills their home, but spills out into the street as well. They also exchange gifts, though the recipient must follow a trail of riddles and clues to reach the prize, as each is hidden at the end of a treasure hunt. 

Jessica Tilson Kichura, works at Junior Achievement of Greater St. Louis

Tilson Kichura, 31, and her family have a special Hanukkah tradition of doing a “white elephant” or “rob your neighbor” gift exchange, but with a new theme each year. For instance, they might only be able to purchase their gifts from Bed Bath & Beyond, or they might have to find something in the category of “health and wellness.” This year’s challenge is to find gifts that start with the first letter of their first names. Family members of all ages participate in the game, and there is a price limit. Tilson Kichura, who belongs to Congregation B’nai Amoona, says, “We usually come up with our theme around Thanksgiving and have a great time getting together on Hanukkah.” 

Rabbi Hershey Novack, co-director of Chabbad at Washington University and area college campuses

Novack, his wife Chana, and their four children light their candles every night of Hanukkah — earlier on Friday, he notes, so as not to violate Shabbat. Because he and Chana lead Chabbad at Washington University, they like to invite over a few students on each night as well. Then they go out into the street to light two giant menorahs, around six feet tall, in order to help others remember to light their own candles. Around the time of Hanukkah, Novack also likes to take out a mahogany menorah that he and his grandfather made together when he was a child. Holding and looking at this menorah, he says, “makes my heart warm.” To Novack, Hanukkah is a time to spend with family, and represents “the idea of light over darkness.” 

Maharat Rori Picker Neiss, Executive Director of the Jewish Community Relations Council 

Rori Picker Neiss, of University City, keeps Hanukkah relatively simple and to the point with her family of three young children. Each night, they all gather by the window to light their menorahs, one for each member of the family – even the youngest, at 3, gets a turn, with some guidance, of course. Each child receives a chocolate coin, and together the family sings the candle-lighting blessing and other traditional songs. 

Throughout the eight days, they make latkes (often courtesy of Neiss’ mother or husband), sometimes experimenting with vegetables such as spinach or broccoli in place of the traditional potato. They work other foods fried in oil into their diets as well, such as the classic jelly donuts, occasionally bringing the children to a doughnut shop and allowing them to choose for themselves (a special treat). When she was a child, the Bais Abraham congregant lived nearby her extended family and they all would come together for Hanukkah. Having moved farther away, this is no longer possible. All the same, the focus of her Hanukkah celebration is on ritual and family time more than on gifts; her children sometimes receive small presents, but mostly they stick to the chocolate coins and other goodies. But even these treats are not the core part of the holiday in her mind. “There’s just something about gathering together when it’s cold outside… and putting light and warmth out into the world,” she explains.

Stacy Smart, Program Coordinator at the Sababa Festival

Since she was young, Smart’s Hanukkahs have been all about family. The entire extended family comes together for a Hanukkah party, where her mother makes potato latkes, and aunts, uncles and cousins can spend quality time together. Smart’s two young children are always excited to see their relatives – and to get the gelt. 

Since having children, Smart, who is 38 and a member of Temple Israel, says that her Hanukkah traditions have not changed much, except that she and her husband now have the joy of finding gifts for their kids and witnessing their excitement when they receive them. The traditions continue somewhat beyond Hanukkah – her husband’s family is not Jewish, but they always bring some of Smart’s traditions to that side of the family, too. Latkes and presents aside, the time with family is “what’s special about Hanukkah to me,” says Smart. 

Randi Schenberg, Community Relations Director at Crown Center for Senior Living

Schenberg, 53, lives in Chesterfield and has two sons ages 19 and 21. Every year, she invites each side of the family over and hosts a Hanukkah brunch of latkes with applesauce and sour cream, blintzes, bagels, and “of course… jelly donuts for dessert.” They play the traditional dreidel, and over the years they’ve added other games into the mix, such as a complicated one involving massive amounts of plastic cling wrap, cocooned little gifts rolling around the floor, a pair of dice, time-sensitive unwrapping and “lots of screaming.” There are gifts for the children, and sometimes “white elephant” exchanges for the adults, and of course the lighting of the menorah (they still use the drip mats that her sons made when they were in preschool). For Schenberg, who belongs to B’nai Amoona, Hanukkah is really all about “the tradition of being together.”

Lynn Wittels, Executive Director of Jewish Community Center

Wittels, 59, keeps things simple at her home in Creve Coeur. Her two children are in their 20s now, but when they were younger they received eight gifts each, one per night – with “smaller gifts by the end.” She cooks a traditional Hanukkah meal, complete with brisket, her mother’s latke recipe and jelly donuts for dessert. Then, of course, they light their menorah. 

Now that her children are adults and one has moved out of town, it is difficult to gather everyone for a traditional family meal, though she recalls that when she was a child, the whole family came together for their celebrations. 

Tasha Kaminsky, Co-Founder of MaTovu, Jewish center in the Botanical Heights neighborhood of St. Louis

Kaminsky, 30, says, “my mother is super extra and lights literally every menorah in the house even when it’s just the two of us and it’s something like, no joke, 10 menorahs which is… a lot of fire.”