In 2010, the St. Louis Jewish community mourned the death of longtime Hebrew and religious schoolteacher Ida Stack. The grief over her passing was especially pronounced for her son Rick, an author, professor and social justice activist. That’s when Stack began reading “Saying Kaddish,” a book about consolation and guidance by Anita Diamant.
“The book explained the rituals I was observing in honor of my mom,” said Stack. “I found it very comforting. And it dawned on me that for every religion, every ethnicity, every culture, there’s a different way to comfort mourners.”
Stack began collecting information about grieving from friends, colleagues, students and staff members at American University, where he was an associate professor for a number of years. Now retired, he continued his quest for information and historical context about the subject. The result is his recently published book, “We Who Grieve, Understanding Our Most Painful Emotion.”
On Friday, April 5, at 6 p.m., Stack will be speaking on the subject at Left Bank Books, 399 N. Euclid Ave. Stack’s talk, and the book, will be meaningful for anyone experiencing the raw emotions of the grieving process. It may also be important reading for grief counselors, hospice workers, health care professionals and anyone who interacts with grieving clients, Stack said.
“Nursing programs, medical school programs and funeral home directors all really could make good use of the book,” he said. “The idea here is to give people some knowledge to be able to be helpful in a very constructive way.”
The book addresses coping skills for mourners, including breathing, exercise, rest, diet and decompression through self-care. When a person is recovering from grief, Stack writes, he or she learns about the importance of empathy from the experience. That is a quality that can be beneficial for anyone.
“Once you’ve been a mourner, you know what it’s like,” Stack said. “We know what you endure when you lose a loved one, so we should feel a little bit more compassion to others who are going through that. My not-so-hidden agenda for this book is to amp up empathy in our world.”
“We Who Grieve” is illustrated with photos taken by Bob Denlow, a Jewish St. Louisan and award-winning photographer. In addition to being the author of four books and an award-winning documentary producer, Stack is also a 2022 inductee in the University City High School Hall of Fame.
