At 107 years old, Muriel Hartz has lived a life filled with wonderful relationships and rich experiences. From growing up in Baltimore, Md. to living with her family in Farmington, N.M.; and to living by herself in Milwaukee; Iowa City, Iowa; Salt Lake City, and – for the last 12 years–St. Louis.
Muriel’s remarkable journey has been characterized by an insatiable zest for life and an unparalleled ability to forge deep and lasting friendships. Coupled with an unwavering devotion to family, she has left an indelible mark on the hearts of those who know her, embodying a life rich in happiness and fulfillment.
Despite her lifelong motto of “don’t mess with stress,” this did not imply a reluctance to take responsibility for issues, particularly those concerning Jewish causes. Her latest focus centered on addressing the plight of the ashamed Jew.
“She was disturbed that some Jewish residents in her retirement home had funerals that didn’t mention their Judaism,” said Arthur Hartz, Muriel’s 79- year-old son. “To show the residents at her retirement home that she was proud to be Jewish, she strongly wanted a Jewish funeral. I thought it was a waste for her to have the funeral that she wanted without her seeing it.”
A funeral for a living person?
“We talked to Rabbi Randy Fleisher from Central Reform Congregation about this, and he said it would be inappropriate to say Kaddish for a living person,” said Hartz. Therefore, we decided to have a Havdalah ceremony that would show that she was a proud Jew without doing anything that could be considered sacrilegious.”
So instead of a “funeral” the idea evolved into a celebration of Muriel’s life, with Muriel front and center.
“We originally scheduled the ceremony for May 11, but when her health began to decline, we moved it up to March 23rd to coincide with my brother’s visit,” said Hartz. “That date was Purim so neither Rabbi Randy nor other rabbis were available to lead the service.”
They made the best of it as family and friends spanning generations ventured from across the country to gather at the Bethesda Barclay House in Clayton to celebrate Muriel.
“The service was led by a friend of my daughters from California,” said Hartz. “It was a Havdalah service that included secular parts of a funeral.”
They had a slideshow featuring images from Muriel’s life and speeches by family and friends. Violinist Lorraine Glass Harris, who recently retired from the St. Louis Symphony, accompanied the singing of the Jewish prayers and also played other selections of Jewish music during the ceremony.
“My mother loved the service. It was not the Jewish funeral that she had asked for, but it satisfied her need to show her friends that she was a proud Jew. Plus, there was the bonus of a party with her family and friends. It’s incredible how much life that put into her,” said Hartz.
