Forgiveness, gratitude and a Black Power Ranger        

It’s getting to be that time of year when we look to seek forgiveness from people we may have wronged over the past year before asking forgiveness from God. Needless to say, I have a few lunches and dinners lined up this week to do just that.

By the same token, the High Holidays are not just about atoning for past mistakes and making amends with others. They also are a time for self-reflection and prayer, to thank God for all the good in our life, and for us to take stock in what is really important. 

Like many of you (I hope), family, friends and good health top my list. In the last year, I have been blessed with more than my share of naches, not the least of which is my seven-month-old granddaughter, Evelyn Louise.

Becoming a grandmother is by far one of the greatest joys in life. Same, too, was becoming a mother. But before I got to experience either I became a stepmother, and that great privilege has shaped my world in dozens of positive ways I never expected. 

At first I figured I’d have an uphill battle, thanks to “Cinderella,” “Snow White” and other countless fairytales about wicked or evil stepmothers. Movies, weren’t much better, either. 

I’ll never forget when “Stepmom” came out with Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts in 1998, the same year my husband and I got married. By then I had been “acting stepmom” to Megan and Jesse, then 12 and 10 years old, for more than five years. I can remember watching the film and seething as the bitter Sarandon character, a divorced mother of two, treated the Roberts character, a younger career woman who married Sarandon’s ex (Ed Harris), with such ugliness and disdain. That just never was the way it was with Kit and me.

Kit is Megan and Jesse’s mother. By the time I came into the picture, she and my husband Jeff were divorced. She knew I had nothing to do with their break-up, and I guess she didn’t see any reason to resent me. 

Friends always seem amazed that we got — and get —along. Frankly, there is nothing amazing about it. It just made sense to both of us to put the health and welfare of Megan and Jesse front and center. We felt strongly that children who grow up being loved by their parents —no matter how many – are more likely to be better adjusted and happier. Plus, Kit is a genuinely nice person, and I’d like to think that most of the time, I am, too.

This isn’t to say everything was always peachy keen. As a stepmother, just like as a mother, I made my share of mistakes. The one Jesse never has allowed me to forget was the chapter we call “The Black Power Ranger.”

Remember “The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” that were on TV in the mid-1990s? If you have children in their late 20s today, they were likely to have watched these colorful “teenagers with an attitude” fight the evil Rita Repulsa and her army of wicked space aliens.

Jesse was entranced by the Black Power Ranger (other colors included Red, Yellow, Pink, Blue and Green) and begged for an oversized plastic toy version.

As acting stepmother, I was careful not to overindulge the kids, so when Jesse saw this Black Power Ranger at the old Spicer’s store in Ladue, I said no to the purchase.

With that, the kid had a Mighty Morphin Meltdown. He wasn’t much more than 7 at the time, but he stuck that lower lip out, and the tears followed. 

What I didn’t know was that this particular Power Ranger — the black-colored one — was extremely hard to come by, as like impossible. And Jesse — never a kid to ask for much — wasn’t about to forget it. Day after day he’d badger me, until finally I decided to go back to Spicer’s, buy it for him and save it for Hanukkah. Of course by the time I got there, the toy was long gone and none was to be found in the entire bi-state region.

To this day, at various family gatherings, the Black Power Ranger comes up. It’s been more than 20 years, but Jesse still remembers it as the biggest injustice of his young life and the closest I ever came to being an evil stepmother.

Today, Megan is 30 and Jesse is 28. They are both not only my step kids, but also two of my closest friends (as is Jesse’s wife, Cody). Jesse and Cody are now parents to Evelyn, which is how I became a grandmother. 

I spend a lot of time with her these days — as much as possible. Honestly, I love that child so much, and am completely smitten. 

Sometimes when Evelyn is fussy or mad, she sticks her lower lip out just like Jesse used to do. It instantly reminds me of the Black Power Ranger saga, which now makes me smile.

Making peace with others, and then with God, is what we do at the High Holidays. Like many of you, I plan to count my blessings, give thanks for all that is right in the world and pray that what is wrong will change for the better in the coming year.

And just as I have done for the past 20 years, in atoning for the wrongs for which I am responsible, I will promise to buy a Black Power Ranger should I ever come across one again.

L’shana Tovah!