“Bully,” which is playing at Landmark Plaza Frontenac theaters, is an important film that should be required viewing by middle-and-high schoolers and their parents. I say this not because the movie is great—it isn’t—but because it is a great conversation starter on a subject that we, as parents and teachers and Jews, should talk openly about with our kids.

The documentary strings together several stories, three from the point of view of youngsters who have been bullied and two from parents whose children took their own lives because, ostensibly, they were bullied to death. We meet those parents after they have buried their children: Tyler Long hanged himself in his closet at 17. Ty Smalley committed suicide when he was 11.

Director Lee Hirsch also introduces us to honor student Ja’Maya, a Mississippi 14-year-old sent to a juvenile detention center after pulling a gun on her tormentors. We meet Kelby, too, a 16-year-old from Oklahoma, who speaks of being bullied by students and teachers and ostracized by her community after coming out as a lesbian.

But more than likely it is Alex, a 12-year-old loner from Sioux City, Iowa, who will break your heart. Hirsch and his team were allowed to follow Alex with hidden cameras, so we see firsthand as he endures daily physical and mental torture from classmates at both school and on his bus. So accustomed to the nonstop abuse, he says flatly to his parents, “I’m starting to think I don’t feel anything anymore.”

For the most part, school officials and law enforcement don’t fare well 

here, coming across as either clueless or buffoons. But where the film ultimately falls down is in offering no insight into the psyche of the bullies– and why they act the way they do. What drives a child to victimize another so incessantly? Where are the parents in these matters? And what stops youngsters on the sidelines from intervening? 

It’s the bystander issue that had my 14-year-old and me talking after we saw the movie together. As Jewish parents and teachers, don’t we owe it to our children to teach that tikkun olam, repairing the world, means getting involved and doing what’s right, even if it’s hard or risky? 

While “Bully” leaves a lot unanswered, it more than delivers on bubbling up questions and ultimately, life lessons, for discussion.

Rise and shine

Call it the B’nai Mitzvah Bummer. It usually arrives during the fall of eighth grade when the active social life youngsters led in seventh grade, filled with bar and bat mitzvah celebrations, comes to a screeching halt. 

Scotty and Becky O’Brien hope to counteract that with a new concept they are launching called Shine. Essentially, they are throwing six different themed parties a year for Jewish middle-school youngsters in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades. 

The first one kicks off Sunday, May 20 at the Doubletree Inn and Conference Center in Chesterfield with a Las Vegas nightclub theme. It will feature kosher-style food, drinks, music, interactive games and prizes and runs from 5:30 to 9 p.m. Other chaperoned, theme-parties in the planning include a luau swim blast, drive-in movie night and haunted house extravaganza.

“This is a tough age because they are no longer ‘little kids’ but they’re not old enough to drive,” said Scotty O’Brien, who runs Sunshine Entertainment Group, a DJ and party planning business, with his wife. They specialize in b’nai mitzvahs and weddings.

O’Brien points out that Shine is a for-profit business, which means these parties come at a price. They cost $180 a year for six parties, and although the couple is kicking off the parties in May, they promise there will be a total of six for 2012, ending with a Hanukkah-themed party in December. 

As part of the launch, the O’Briens are allowing kids to “try out” the first two parties for $72 before committing to all six. A special offer, which cuts that price to $54, is detailed on the insert in this week’s Jewish Light. 

For more information about Shine, and to download a free app, visit www.goshinestl.com or email [email protected].