A Mother’s Day story, kind of
Published May 11, 2017
It was his terminally ill mother that brought Richard Cohen back to his hometown St. Louis in 2013, after she had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Richard, 52, didn’t think his mother, Sharon Cohen, had long to live and he wanted as much time as possible with her. He also wanted to help his father, Marvin Cohen, known in his heyday as “the singing pharmacist,” take care of Sharon.
An expert in early childhood education, Richard left a prestigious job in Washington, D.C. “to care for my mother until the end of her journey.”
As successful as Richard was in his career, the opposite was true when it came to his love life. “I lived in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Detroit and had never been in a relationship in any of those places. I just figured I wouldn’t meet a compatible partner here either,” says Richard, who graduated from Ladue Horton Watkins High School and celebrated his bar mitzvah at Congregation B’nai Amoona.
How does that old saying go? You meet someone when you least expect it?
Richard first met James Amon, 47, online. “We made each other laugh,” says Richard. The two then met face-to-face at Keypers Piano Bar near Soulard in October of 2014.
“It was a magical moment,” says Richard, who now teaches at St. Louis Community College-Florissant Valley. “We say an electrical spark jumped between us. It was love at first sight. Neither of us had planned or expected this but we were awed by this connection. We began dating and very quickly fell in love.”
Over the next year, as James and Richard got to know each other better, James also got to know Richard’s mother and helped him care for her.
Richard knew his mother’s time was running out. So after Thanksgiving dinner in 2015, in front of his family, he got down on one knee and proposed to James, who happily accepted.
“I knew my mom wouldn’t make it to the wedding but I wanted her to be there for the proposal,” says Richard.
When Sharon Cohen died peacefully on March 28, 2016 at the age of 78, James was there stroking her head while Richard and his father held her hands and talked to her. They were also able to connect via speakerphone and let Richard’s two brothers, both of whom live out of town, and their families, say their goodbyes.
“To have James there and have the two of them love each other and have my mom know that I had someone and we would both take care of each other and love each other unconditionally — well, that was her deepest wish,” says Richard. “I feel so fortunate that it came true.”
After a year of mourning, Richard and James are getting married at a picnic in University City’s Kaufman Park at 10 a.m. Sunday, May 28; the public is invited to attend.
The night before the wedding, Richard and James, who is studying health information technology at St. Louis Community College-Forest Park, will host “The Bachelor Party” starting at 7 p.m. at Gaslight Theatre. The thing is, it’s not really a bachelor party at all, but rather a $20 a person fundraiser for which all proceeds will be split equally between the Sharon Cohen Memorial Fund for Cancer Research and the Richard and James Honeymoon Fund.
“We’re broke, so we thought let’s do a charity fundraiser rather than a Kickstarter campaign,” explains Richard.
He describes the bachelor party as a “bawdy vaudeville show” featuring local cabaret singer Ken Haller, belly dancer Freya, magician Jeff Lefton and 88-year-old stand-up comic Betty Levy, known for her dirty jokes about octogenarians, all hosted by drag queen Roxanne Stars. Chances are the singing pharmacist, now 84, also will perform a number or two.
Tickets can be purchased at brownpapertickets.com (search for keyword “bachelor party”).
As excited as Richard is about his and James’ big day, he acknowledges the hole left by his mother’s absence. So as part of their wedding ceremony, the two will pay tribute to Sharon and the providential role she had in bringing them together.
“There hasn’t been a day in my life that I haven’t been unconditionally loved by a sweet, kind, generous, giving soul,” says Richard. “My mom and everyone who knew her describes her that way.
“And I’ve been very lucky to find a man who is just like my mother.”
Speaking of mothers
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