Growing up, I got into trouble when I gave one-word answers. In my house, it was considered rude and my parents did not tolerate it. We spoke in full sentences, often with our grammar corrected. My siblings and I were required to take Latin. I wound up sticking with it for six years. When I say or write something grammatically incorrect, I notice, even if I do it anyway. It’s become my style to an extent, but it is a conscious choice, not an unknowing error.

In text world, though, grammar has taken a backseat to speed. Depending on who generates   these one-word answers, it can be perfectly normal conversation or it can be rude. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder—so are texts.

Recently, I was talking with a friend of mine who is back on the dating scene after ending a long-term marriage a few years ago. She showed me a text written by a man she has been seeing off and on for the past few months. 

“Look at this,” she said, “Do you see anything wrong with this?” 

I looked. Then I handed her my phone, which contained texts from three males I knew cared very much for me: my son, my brother and one of my best friends who has been like a brother to me for well over 30 years. 

All of the messages more or less took on this pattern.

Me: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Him: K

Me: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Him: Will do.

Me: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Him: Thx.

She started to laugh. “So you’re saying I shouldn’t worry about this?”

“I’m saying it’s a guy thing,” I told her. “Whether it bothers you or not depends on the status of your relationship.”

The pattern didn’t bother me because I’m not looking for an affirmation of our relationship. Do I worry that my son doesn’t love me? Not for a minute. Am I looking for subtle nuances about our future in texts with my brother? I’m not. Am I worried that my dear friend of 30-plus years is giving me the blow off? Nope. 

I then showed her texts from my husband.  His texts varied ranged from the typical one word responses to full blown paragraphs.  There’s a reason for his longer texts, though.  He usually uses his microphone when he texts more than one word.  I explained this to her, but I could see that doubt had crept into her face.  After all, she was the one who brought it up to me and clearly it bothered her.

“Sounds like K is not okay,” I told her.