I have a friend who was born with a genetic disease that is accompanied by an infinite number of symptoms. To begin with, she is very small in stature, with a body similar to an eight year old girl who is barely four feet tall. In addition, she is highly susceptible to infections and respiratory illnesses, as well as cancer, and she has battled them all. She is intelligent, highly educated, savvy, funny, compassionate and very obstinate. I am completely serious when I say that if I were her foe, I would be more than frightened to come across her in a dark alley. Despite all the odds working against her, she has managed to create an independent, fulfilling and rich life, both professionally and personally. But, there are a few holes in her life that she would like to fill, that of love and children. It has not been easy for this friend to have romantic relationships, and that saddens her, but it does not stop her from trying to pursue love.

She called me a few months ago and told me that she wanted to pursue motherhood and she wanted my help. In her mid-thirties, she did not want to wait any longer. Having recently battled breast cancer, in addition to the frailty of her body and sketchy reproductive system, doctors simply would not discuss this option with her. In fact, most people (including myself, I have to admit) would be shocked to even learn of her entertainment of this idea. Is she crazy?!? Delusional might be the better word. But I listened and my heart knew her desire to mother a child. I called another friend of mine who is a doctor specializing in assisted reproductive technology and asked her to meet with my friend to discuss her options.

I hung up the phone that day and thought to myself “amazing!” How does someone like my friend have such hope for her life? Then I realized that she is not simply hopeful. She is tenacious. She is persistent in maintaining a belief that she is just as deserving of the fullness of life as most people. She is also a woman of action. She does not sit at home and wish, but she acts upon her values and desires to find possibility. And she will uncover every rock to find the answers, be they favorable or not.

My friend called me the other day with tears in her voice, thanking me for the connection with my doctor friend. While her appointment was exactly what I expected it would be, she was grateful to have had the opportunity for someone to sit and talk with her like any other patient. That conversation changed the course of my day and my perspective for the rest of the week. I still have dreams, hopes and wishes, but it is having tenacity that is going to make my life what I want for it to be.