New Year’s resolutions

Laura K. Silver is a trustee of the Jewish Light who writes a blog for the paper’s website (  She owns The Paper Trail of St. Louis, a financial and legal concierge service. Laura is married and the mother of two middle school age children.

By Laura K. Silver

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I try to be realistic.  There are plenty of people who make them about exercise and eating right.  What I’ve found is that these people only make me have to search for a parking spot at the J at the beginning of the month of January and allow me to have my pick of them by the end.   I’m looking for more. 

Usually, my resolution is to call all of those people I’ve promised to make plans with and never quite got around to actually doing it–the “let’s have lunch” crowd.  For several years, I spent January following up and scheduling lunch.  Over the past few years, this list has grown shorter.  Either I’m getting better about making those plans or I don’t say “let’s have lunch” a whole lot anymore.  Regardless, it seems time to move on. 

2013 was a rough year health-wise for too many of my friends and acquaintances.  By watching people come together to help them, I realized something about myself—namely that I am not the friend I aspire to be to my closest friends, many of whom live far away.  Sure, they say that the test of a good friend is being able to pick up that friendship where it left off, but really, why do I need to put it to the test?  In this day of free long distance, Skype and FaceTime, staying in touch should be easy.  Frankly, I’ve just gotten lazy– I let months go by without checking in and I email or text rather than pick up the phone.  It’s time for me to change.  

I also realized that I want more current photos of my friends.  I don’t want my only photos to be from 20 years ago.  Sure, most people I know criticize themselves in photos and I’m no exception.  But in the end, I would rather capture that moment in time with people I love, than miss it because of my insecurities.  My friends won’t care or won’t notice a bad hair day, but they will remember the fun time we had together and the laughs that we shared when they look back on the photo (or they might notice and make fun of me, but there’s some entertainment value in that too, right?)  To me, after 2013, it’s time to stop finding excuses for why we can’t make that trip happen and start finding reasons to make sure it does.  Life is going by and in case you didn’t notice, it’s already 2014.

So this year, these are my resolutions.  Like it or not, friends, expect the phone to ring and get ready to smile for the camera.  We’re making memories.   And, if you are worried about how you’ll look in my photos, go to the gym!  

It’ll be empty in February.