I took my kids skiing for the first time when they were four years old. There are a few skills in life, such as skiing and golf, that I wish I had learned as a child. Now, I’m giving them to my kids.

On my third day out during our first year, I was in a class with three other adult beginners. My instructor told us to put the poles behind our backs sideways and hold them with our arms. Once we were in this position, he made us get in line and do slow, S curves down the mountain.

I was fourth in line, following my group when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash go by me.

“Hi, Mommy!” the flash said as it passed. My daughter’s ski group was a football field ahead within seconds.

When I tell you it took every ounce of my being not to yell, “SLOW DOWN,” I am not exaggerating. Instead, I smiled and yelled, “Hi!” hoping she could still hear me.

I knew that if I told her to slow down, she would probably fall. She would be listening to my inner voice instead of her own. Her inner voice told her she was fine, she could do it, she was under control. My inner voice was telling me she couldn’t do it because I couldn’t do it. This simply wasn’t the case.

What I realized, during that short moment, was that my kids are going to be comfortable doing a lot of things in life that I’m not. They are sometimes better monitors of their own situation than I am, even at four years old. It’s not my job, as a parent, to hold my kids back. It’s my job to realize when they are in real danger and try to guide them away from it. My perception of danger and theirs may not always be the same. Sometimes I just need to stand back and keep my mouth shut.

On our most recent ski trip, my daughter, now 8, skied her first black diamond trail. Black diamonds, from what I gather, are very steep and have lots of moguls. I wouldn’t know–I’ve never done one.

Maybe I should try golf.