Flash mob proposals

Laura K. Silver is a trustee of the Jewish Light who writes a blog for the paper’s website (stljewishlight.com/laura).  She owns The Paper Trail of St. Louis, a financial and legal concierge service. Laura is married and the mother of two middle school age children.


I know I’m probably in the minority here, but I’m sick of the over the top dancing flashmob proposals.  As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve seen one cheerleader get engaged to the mysterious mascot, you’ve seen them all.

Proposals are romantic and despite the circumstances, we all remember ours.  When my husband picked out my outfit, told me to get ready, and made reservations at the place where we had our first date, I pretty much knew what was coming.  And when I refused to set foot in there because I thought the whole thing was too cheesy for my tastes, he had a back up reservation at another restaurant where he proposed instead.  Now that’s love.   

Thank goodness we didn’t have iPhones with videos back then or for that matter, Facebook.  All of his friends and family would have left comments like, ”Run, Michael, Run!”   (To be fair, later that evening, we broke one of the champagne glasses we were using to celebrate and he may or may not have stepped on it barefoot.  We proceeded to spend twenty minutes on the phone with “Call A Nurse.”  Had we videoed that ultra romantic segment, I think I would have received a few of my own comments too.)

Beth Shalom Cemetery ad

But this new genre of proposal…. what is this?  You love someone more because you propose every day for a year without them knowing?  You show up on a bus filled with blaring music and sing in the middle of the street?  Or you seat your girlfriend in a mock restaurant with a spinning chair that ultimately becomes the scene of a well orchestrated theatrical production?  I hope that these women were happy about becoming viral sensations.  I, for one, would have wanted to crawl under a rock.

To me, a proposal is private.  It’s between two people who are contemplating entering into the biggest commitment of their lives.  It’s not a show between two people for the rest of the world to see.  They make Jerry Springer for that.

Marriage starts with a proposal, certainly, but that is merely the beginning.  I only hope that, with a fifty percent plus divorce rate in this country, the people who are planning these proposals put as much effort into keeping their marriages alive, romantic, and fun.   Many of these proposals look like they are going to be the highlight of the marriage, and personally,  I find that pretty sad.   

I only hope I’m not watching these flash mobs serving divorce papers next.