D’var Torah: Love and vision

Rabbi Andrea Goldstein serves Congregation Shaare Emeth and is a member of the St. Louis Rabbinical Association.   

By Rabbi Andrea Goldstein

Our Torah portions this week are the double portions of Acharei Mot and Kedoshim. Parashat Kedoshim contains, arguably, the most well-known verse in the Torah – “Love your neighbor as yourself; I am Adonai” (Lev. 19:18). Sometimes known as “the Golden Rule,” this commandment is easy to recite but difficult to follow. Nachmanides, a 13th century commentator, said that it is all but impossible for people to literally feel the same love for others that they feel for themselves, especially people who are unpleasant or unkind. Perhaps that is why Rabbi Yaakov Tzvi Mecklenburg, in the 19th century, created a list of examples for us to do to try to fulfill the spirit of this verse in practical ways. The list includes such suggestions as: treating others with respect; wishing the best for them; greeting others with friendliness; and giving others the benefit of the doubt. Taken together, these practices can help us cultivate what our tradition calls an ayin tova, which literally means “a good eye.” Another way to loosely define this term is generosity in judgment.  It is the practice of looking at experiences and people with the intent of seeing their inherent goodness.   

A story might illustrate the point. A man once came to his rebbe with the following question: “The Talmud says that ‘a person is supposed to bless God for the bad that happens to him just as he blesses God for the good.’ But how is this humanly possible? How can one receive troubles with the same equanimity as one receives joys?” The rebbe answered, “Go to my student, Zusya — whatever befalls him, he is always contented and gracious. He will answer you.” 

Rabbi Zusya, says the story, was a poor man in poor health, and he had a rather unpleasant wife. When the man sought him out and asked him his question, Zusya looked at him in perplexity. “I don’t know why the rebbe sent you to me,” he said. “I’ve never had a bad day in my life!”

In trying to cultivate an ayin tovah we seek to view our world, and other people, like Rabbi Zusya … with a sense of gratitude, compassion and kindness. Developing an ayin tova does not mean that we must ignore our problems and the problems of the world. It does not mean that we need to wear rose-colored glasses or become passive in the face of injustice or abuse. Judaism would never counsel us to plaster smiles on our faces and sit silently if we are being bullied or neglected, or if we are suffering and experiencing real pain.

But how many times during each of our days do we engage in little judgments about the people we meet and know? We practice habitual fault-finding and allow negativity and cynicism to permeate our thoughts. When our tradition speaks about nurturing an ayin tovah it is seeking to address those cynical, judgmental, sarcastic aspects of who we are – and suggesting that there might be a more spiritually healthy way to experience our world. Having an ayin tova means shifting our perspective to look at other people through the lens of love and curiosity rather than judgment. It means actively believing in and seeking out the good that is within them. And in doing so, we discover the good within ourselves. 

If we wish to develop an ayin tova we might engage in the following practice. Each night make a mental list of the people we have judged during the day (whether fairly or unfairly). Then, we can choose one of those people and try, for a moment, to stand in that person’s shoes, to see the world through their eyes. After doing so, we might offer a prayer that that person is able to receive what they need most. And we can make a short prayer for ourselves, asking that we might continue to see the goodness in others. This practice can open our eyes to seeing others and the world in new ways. And it can open our hearts, allowing us to fulfill this week’s commandment of loving our neighbors as ourselves.

Rabbi Andrea Goldstein serves Congregation Shaare Emeth and is a member of the St. Louis Rabbinical Association.