This is not a happy story, but it is one of truth. Three years ago, our 15-year-old grandson Noah Arnold was hit by a car in Beverly Hills, Calif. and ultimately died from his injuries. I never believed that lightening could or would strike twice but it did.

On Oct. 9, the day after Rosh Hashanah, Noah’s father, Scott Arnold, had a massive heart attack and died at age 50. Our daughter, Lisa Schuman Arnold, is now a young widow who in a period of three years has lost half of her family.

Her family is Orthodox, and she took extreme measures to try and save her beloved husband and father of her children medically and religiously. But all of it was to no avail in not preventing Scott from dying.

There was the supposed messianic tallit, the holy oil from the Jerusalem’s Ner Tamid, and the shofar that was blown in the ICU at Scott’s bedside. Thousand of prayers were recited around the world in multiple yeshivahs but Scott died, and his children have no father, and my daughter has no husband.

I asked myself “why.” As I said before, there are no words. I have no answers and, in my opinion, nor did the multiple rabbis with whom I spoke.

If you ask if I am angry, the answer is “yes.” I do not understand why Scott, who had such integrity, love in his heart, and did multiple acts of kindness on a daily basis was taken so young. As Lisa used to say, “Scott is a sleeper. People don’t know all the kind things he does to help others every day.” Both Scott and Lisa exemplified the true meaning of the word
chesed.

I believe the truest tribute were the words spoken at this funeral by his fraternity brothers from around the country, his rabbi, his children and his wife telling of his impact on others that Scott’s life personified. His 9-year-old daughter Gigi spoke with amazing poise and grace well beyond her young years. She talked of “the impact her father had on her life” and his son Shaine spoke of him being “his hero.” They had formed a tight bond after he lost his brother who was two years his senior.

I must share that while friends and family waited each moment of news from the ICU patio, I watched a moment of what I consider the most chesed act I have personally ever seen. My daughter Lisa was brought kosher food to the hospital in Agoura Hills. Some of her friends drove two hours from the city just to help. They brought a lot and when the Jewish contingent had finished eating there was a huge amount of leftover food.

Lisa who had just stepped away from leaving the bedside of her gravely ill husband immediately thought of the other family group of Hispanic people in the waiting room. She said, “You have been here all day as well, I am sure you are hungry. Please come and eat the rest of our food.”

Even at her own darkest hour her heart thought of the needs of others. That is the way of the Scott and Lisa Arnold family. In addition, Lisa has been strapped with multiple sclerosis for the last 17 years and is a committed volunteer at the organization Race to Erase MS.

Should you wish to make a tax-deductible contribution in memory of Scott and the Arnold family and help the Arnold family her and surviving children. All funds go directly to Lisa and her children. Here is the link: https://www.bethjacob.org/form/Bereavement

There are no words.

Marsha Shuman is a retired travel company owner and lives in Creve Coeur.