I have actually been thinking about Passover. More specifically, I have been thinking of the story of Passover – the Jews Exodus from Egypt. It has always disturbed me that Pharaoh is literally described as having a “hardened heart.” It appears that his “hardened heart” is what prevents the Pharaoh from releasing the Jews from slavery into freedom. It is only after the destruction and trauma of the plagues (not any sort of compassion for the Jews) that the Pharaoh relents and allows the Jews to leave, only to change his mind soon thereafter. His “hardened heart” prevails.

It is only now that I realize that Pharaoh’s “hardened heart” served a purpose, apart from building the strength of the Jews. His “hardened heart” protected him. It allowed the Pharaoh to maintain a semblance of power and strength. It also provided him the endurance to continue after the death of his first-born son – an unfathomable thought.

I am a bit envious of the “hardened heart.” My heart is quite the opposite – more like a bag of marshmallows that have been sitting in the sun. I feel everything, from the stories on the evening news to the complications of love and family. Some days I wish my heart could resist feeling the pains of the world, and I could simply do what I need to do without being burdened by emotions. Does a “hardened heart” allow one to function in the world more effectively? Does such a heart make decisions in business and the work place clearer? Relationships less complicated? Life simpler?

But then I think. Where did that leave Pharaoh in the end? He was a leader unable to keep an enslaved people in bondage. He was defeated by slaves and by a G-d for which he did not believe. He was a broken man, alone and angry at the world. So, perhaps my marshmallow heart isn’t all that bad. At least I feel of the world and connected. Maybe I just need some graham crackers to keep me from melting all over the place.