As Jews we know what it is like to be in the minority. As curly girl Jews of a certain age, oy vey, how we have suffered (cue the violins). That is until we started seeing Jamie Kociela-Bilbrey.

Jamie knows how, once upon a curl in the Land of Lox, we worked long and hard to blow-fry our hair, even iron it for Pete’s sake, to make it conform to straight society. She also knows how this goes against nature because we could not help how we were born. The truth is, the second we stepped into humidity, our effort to change what cannot be changed was for naught, as we watched in horror how our flat tresses turned back into kinky ringlets. And it wasn’t even midnight.

Jamie knows all of this because even though she is not Jewish, she is still one of the chosen people born with naturally curly hair. And I say chosen because today, after decades of fighting with what our genes handed us, we have learned to embrace our inner curl. And we have Jamie to thank for encouraging us to join the CURL-volution.

Jamie is a hair stylist at the Wilson Means Salon in Des Peres. She learned the technique of cutting curly hair – and yes, there is actually a technique – from Lorraine Massey, better known as the Diva of Devachan, the name of the hair salons she owns in New York that specialize in curly cuts. In 2001, Massey wrote the first edition of “The Curly Girl Handbook” or what us curly girls refer to as “The Manifesto.” It seeks to change the world one curl at a time.

Some years ago, Massey came to St. Louis to teach interested stylists how to cut – and take care of – curly hair. Jamie was among those who learned to cut each individual curl dry rather than wet to better see its curl pattern. Massey also developed a line of curl-friendly, sulfate-free hair products because she believes the detergents found in most shampoos strip curly hair of its natural oils and lead to frizz and dryness.

Having mastered Massey’s technique and using her line of hair products, Jamie coaxed each of her curly girl clients, one by one, to stop hiding her curls and pretending to be straight. And slowly, but ever so surely, we listened.

On Sunday, 14 of Jamie’s clients, 13 of whom happen to be curly girl Jews, gave her a luncheon baby shower at the salon. She is expecting her first child at the end of January. A curly girl, we can only hope.

Menorah-making event sparks interfaith partnership

On Sunday, the fourth annual Chabad of Greater St. Louis free Menorah Workshop will take place at Home Depot, 1603 S. Hanley Road in Brentwood from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Nearly 400 children are expected to don a hardhat and build and decorate their own unique wood menorah with a variety of supplies available at Home Depot while family members look on.

Once again, as he has since the beginning four years ago, Senad Dzankovic, 52, will be in the middle of it all, helping and laughing and encouraging the kids.

Senad manages the lumber department at the Brentwood Home Depot. He pre-cuts the wood for the menorahs before the event and then oversees the action and troubleshoots during it. He also happens to be a devout Muslim.

“The first year we started the workshop, Senad was designated as our go-to person,” explained Rabbi Levi Landa, director of programming for Chabad of Greater St. Louis. “He saw me with my beard and kippah and told me he was Muslim.

“He also told me how he wanted to make the event special and meaningful for the children. I told him that I believe everyone was created in the image of God and that I had no problem with him being Muslim. I respect someone who is interested and true to his faith.”

For his part, Senad wishes people of different faiths could work together and cooperate with one another. A Croatian from Bosnia, Senad said he “came from a place where people were killing each other because of a difference in religion.” He has the battle scars to prove it – he was shot three times in his left leg while fighting in the Bosnian army in Sarajevo.

In fact, he credits the Jewish community in Sarajevo with assisting him while he was recovering, securing antibiotics and medical help for his leg. “”I would be in much worse shape if it wasn’t for the help shown to me by the Jews in Sarajevo,” he says in heavily accented English. Even today, 16 years after leaving his country for St. Louis, he still walks with a noticeable limp.

As we talk in a break room at the Brentwood Home Depot, he says he doesn’t understand why people behave with such hate in the name of religion.

“I wish Muslims, Jews, people of all religions could find a place in the sun for everyone to co-exist,” says Senad, who lives in South County with his wife. He has two grown children and one grandson, who will be a year-old on Dec. 22 and is the light of his life.

As for the menorah workshop Sunday, Senad is almost giddy with excitement in anticipation. “Seeing the kids smile is what is important to me,” he says. “It’s all about the kids. They are our future.”

For more information about the workshop, call Chabad at 314-725-0400 or go to ShowMeChabad.com/homedepot.