My name is Ellen but I’m a Cathy

Memorial Day weekend, the unofficial start of summer. Out come the white pants and white shoes, though personally I see nothing wrong with women wearing white pants year round; men, that’s another story (and don’t get me started on the shoes). Also on tap: outdoor picnics and barbecues, dreaded yard work so that we’re not embarrassed when hosting outdoor picnics and barbecues, and my favorite of them all, the opening of area pools.

So that there’s no confusion, I was being facetious about the latter. Not that I’ve got anything against outdoor pool season; in fact, I’m a big fan. It’s just having to wear a swimsuit to get into the pool that I tend to have angst over.

I know I’m not alone. Although comic strip creator Cathy Guisewite retired her namesake character in 2010, many of us remember — and still identify with — insecure, vulnerable, body-conscious Cathy, especially her swimsuit meltdowns. My favorite had her emerging from a dressing room in a new-fangled yellow bikini, mouth wide-opened, hair sticking up straight. Not only was she aghast at the sight of herself, so was the saleswoman. AACK!

Guisewite wrote the iconic “Cathy” for 34 years. When she decided to end the strip, the New York Times ran an interview in which she addressed her detractors, some of whom felt the character’s relevance had come and gone. When Guisewite began writing “Cathy” in 1976, chronicling the character’s hopes, dreams and insecurities, it provided social commentary for a group of young women, including myself, who were charting uncharted territory with no road map, and were often misunderstood.

“A big problem at that time was you had to be in one camp or the other. There wasn’t a camp for ambivalence. You were a liberated woman or you were  a traditionalist,” Guisewite told the Times. “To even voice vulnerability if you were a feminist was wrong and to voice interest in liberation if you were a more traditional woman was wrong.

“So I believe the women I was speaking to in the early years of my strip were women like me, who were at that age in our 20s where we were kind of launched into adulthood with a foot in both worlds and no way to really express it.”

This from the woman who once said, “Food, love, career and mothers, the four major guilt groups.” How is it she’s not Jewish?

In any case, I always think of “Cathy” at the start of swimsuit season. I’d like to think she would have resolved her body image issues by now, but then whom am I kidding? I haven’t. But I do think I am onto something.

Over Memorial Day weekend, as I was sausaging into a one-piece to lounge at a pool with much younger women friends — the result of having a son at 41 while they had theirs at 28 — I had a long talk with myself. 

I said, “Myself, isn’t it about time you stop being mortified by the way you look in a swimsuit?”

Myself then said, “Of course it’s time. It was time 30 years ago. But how?”

In four months, I will turn 60. In true “Cathy” fashion, I have decided over the next four months I will step up my game at the J, half my portion sizes, get more sleep and cut way back on the wine drinking. By the time my birthday comes, I will be in tip-top, swimsuit-ready shape. 

Then I thought a minute. Who was I kidding? Even if I exercise like the dickens, lose weight, sleep better and eliminate the wine, my 60-year-old body is still going to look, well, 60. Cellulite, as many of us can attest, knows no justice.

So I thought about “Cathy” again. That’s when it hit me. The next time I spend an afternoon lounging at a pool with women friends, they are going to be much, much older than me. And there will be wine involved.

Happy trails

Two of my favorite men are retiring June 30. One is my husband, after 35 years as an educator, and the other is Rabbi Lane Steinger, of Shir Hadash Reconstructionist Community.

Steinger will become Rabbi Emeritus of Shir Hadash starting July 1. He has been the congregation’s spiritual leader since 2009. He also serves Temple Israel of Alton. Prior to joining Shir Hadash, Steinger, a St. Louis native who lives with his wife, Linda, in Olivette, spent 13 years as Regional Director of the Midwest Council of the Union for Reform Judaism. 

“The major reason (I am retiring) is to have more flexibility, so we can spend more time visiting our children and grandchildren,” Steinger, 70, explained. The Steingers have three adult children — one in Michigan, one in California and one in New Jersey — and four grandchildren, ranging in age from 7 to 9.

When asked about his legacy at Shir Hadash, Steinger joked: “Legacy is a scary word.” Then he quickly added, “I think there’s been growth in our congregation not just numerically but also in terms of outlook and attitudes. I also think Shir Hadash has a higher profile in the community.

“When I started most people had no clue as to what the Shir Hadash Reconstructionist Community was. I think there’s more of a recognition that Shir Hadash is part of our Jewish community and adds a richness to it in St. Louis.”

A search for a new rabbi at Shir Hadash is ongoing. Steinger says he doesn’t intend to become inactive as he serves in an emeritus capacity, and plans to continue his association at the Alton synagogue and teaching some educational programs through Jewish Federation of St. Louis.

The community is invited to raise a glass, enjoy heavy hors d’oeuvres and desserts, and join Shir Hadash Reconstructionist Community in honoring the Steingers from 5-8 p.m. Sunday, June 26, at Ces and Judy’s at Le Chateau, 10405 Clayton Road in Frontenac. The cost for the event is $90 per person. Advance reservations are required and must be received by Tuesday, June 14. For more information, contact Rita Harris at [email protected] or 314-567-3175.