Editor’s note: This month’s teen page stories are intended solely as parody in the spirit of a Purim spiel and should not be taken as fact.

Imagine receiving a letter in the mail that says you have been accepted to one of the top schools in the country. Picture yourself standing at the station waiting for the train that will take you away to your new home where life as you know it will cease to exist. All around the world, hundreds of students each year encounter such a fate and have the opportunity to experience the world of magic.

In 1998, J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” made its world famous debut. After reading the series, people everywhere dreamt of attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and living in the wizarding world, but it didn’t seem possible. However, last week, the world of “muggles” was enlightened. Louise Esquisio, a St. Louis resident, has discovered the existence of this world.

“Ever since the books came out, I made it my mission to prove their existence,” Esquisio said at a press conference. “After years of researching and stalking I have compiled enough proof to confirm this discovery.”

Esquisio traced the events that occurred in the books of Harry Potter and realized the story was historically accurate. She has spent the last six years following people whom she believed had the ability of magic. She did this so slyly that the wizards she was following either did not realize it or just didn’t care. Esquisio traveled around the world, and while in England she came across the famous Harry Potter.

“When I first saw him, I almost fainted from excitement. He had the scar and was with his wife and two of his children. I even took a picture,” Esquisio said.

Esquisio followed Potter for the next few days and eventually made it into the Ministry of Magic. She begged the minister, Nolosious Fletcher, to reveal the magical world. Her argument must have been convincing, because three days later Fletcher made a public announcement revealing the wizarding world to the “muggles.”

Fletcher went on to say that the main reason for this sudden and stunning revelation would not be disclosed. He also informed the public that magical ability is genetic and that muggles shouldn’t bother spending time and money on obtaining magical powers.

This news has taken St. Louis and the world by storm. Beatrice Glutken, a resident of University City, was thrilled by such a discovery.

“I’ve been reading the Harry Potter series since they were first published,” Glutken said. “I can’t wait to meet a real wizard and ask him all of my questions. I even plan on marrying one; maybe my kids will have the honor of being accepted to Hogwarts!”

However, not everyone shares Glutken’s enthusiasm.

“How people actually believe in such nonsense is beyond me,” said Chandler Bamboozeled, a senior at Parkway Central High School. “Mr. Fletcher is just some fame-seeker who is trying to disturb the peace and get media attention.”