Editor’s note: This month’s teen page stories are intended solely as parody in the spirit of a Purim spiel and should not be taken as fact.

There are many jobs for teenagers that offer a deeper reward than just money. Jobs can teach life lessons, create new friendships and make lasting memories. As a counselor at Camp Sabra last year, I gained all three.

However, how could I stop the list at just three reasons? After all, there are so many other, more important reasons to become a camp counselor. So I decided to create a list of some of the most amazing aspects of this work: 

1. Your campers will listen to everything you say … after telling them to do it 10 times. Like trying to get little Johnny to shower for the first time after two weeks of so much dirt and grime buildup, you can’t even see his skin. Of course, he will do it, after lightly dragging him across the camp and placing him in the shower room.

2. Your cabin will be neat and orderly for the whole, long, entire first day. Then your living quarters will become home to loose socks, scraps of paper and the occasional raccoon or two rummaging through your belongings. Just remember not to move when the creature jumps on your bunk while you’re sleeping, and you’ll have a good story to tell the next morning.

3. If you are sneaky enough, you can persuade your campers to give you their dessert at every meal. Just tell them they will have to sweep the cabin every morning for the rest of camp if they don’t. Just be sure your boss doesn’t hear, and you’ll get an extra brownie. 

4. You wake up bright and early at 5 a.m. to 16 kids very gently jumping on your bed. After you tell them for the hundredth time that breakfast doesn’t start for two hours, they’ll politely go to bed for 20 minutes more. But hey, those 20 minutes will be the best sleep of your life.

5. You’ll get very good at answering questions. You’ll get plenty of practice every five seconds. Even after they have been there for weeks, they’ll still ask when meals are and when they have to go to bed. And whenever you answer one question, suddenly comes another. You’ll also quickly learn that children love to ask, “Why?” and how to provide a satisfactory response.

6. You’ll never forget when snack time is, as your kids will remind you every chance they can. Just remember when you illegally grab two snacks instead of one, tell your kids it’s not for yourself, or they’ll rat you out. 

7. You’ll get cold water from the infirmary about every hour, when your kids have to go for a “stomach ache.” Very quickly, you’ll learn that your kids are good at faking illnesses/injuries for ice pops, which can always hit the spot on a warm summer day.

8. You’ll never forget the lyrics to “Whip/Nae-Nae,” or pretty much any song that has come out in the past two years, as your kids will sing it whenever there is a break in talking. It will also come in handy when you have lip-sync battles with other cabins, or when you need to be prepared for karaoke night. Their dance moves, however, are another story. 

9. You won’t have to talk that much; actually, you won’t be able to after yelling nonstop for a week. The countless cabin cheers and yelling at your kids to go to bed won’t be too kind on your throat. Just remember lots of vitamin C, learn sign language, master a good death stare and you’ll be good to go!

10. After camp is over with, you’ll get extra likes on your Instagram, as every single one of your kids will follow you on every social media platform possible. As long as you can ignore the 50 random comments and the questioning next summer about whether the female in a picture you posted is your girlfriend or not, it’ll be nice to gain an extra 10 likes.