Searching for ‘Mr. Good Enough’

Laurie Goldberg

By Laurie Goldberg

Well the book, “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” makes some really good points. I will quote some important or interesting points that I believe the book makes.

• “It seemed reasonable to think that the longer I searched, the better the guy I’d end up with. But it’s faulty logic…The longer you wait, the less likely you are to find someone better than you’ve already met.”

• “A big problem is that we have the same standards at 35 that we did at 25, but the things we wanted at 25 aren’t as important to our lives at age 35. We should be looking at things like patience and stability instead of instant butterflies.”

• “Knock off anything as a deal-breaker that’s “objective” (age, height, where he went to college, what type of job he has, how much hair he has, whether he has kids or an ex-wife) and focus on what’s “subjective” (maturity, kindness, sense of humor, sensitivity, ability to commit).

• “What matters is finding the perfect partner — not the perfect person. It’s not about lowering your standards — it’s about maturing and having reasonable expectations. There’s a difference between what makes for a good boyfriend and what makes for a good husband. Over the years, stability and dependability outrank fireworks and witty banter.”

• “Relationships are like a game of musical chairs — if you wait too long to take a seat, all the chairs will be taken.”

There is much wisdom in this book and I can say that I certainly learned a lot from it and it changed my perspective in several ways. I understand that “don’t be picky, be happy” is a much more reasonable way to go about dating than having a list of deal-breakers a mile long.

I also feel less pressure on myself to be perfect for someone so that I can fill his list of expectations. I am who I am and while it’s true that I want to make a good first impression, I need to balance that with just being who I am.

I believe the book made its case and it made it well. And I feel grateful.