Starting with the (Wo)man in the mirror


“I’m Starting with the (Wo)Man in the Mirror . . . ” Are you satisfied with the people you’re attracting? If not, maybe it’s time to make a few changes. Here are some ideas that you might consider in order to have more options in your life and to move closer to connecting with a partner whom you choose.

Several of these are very serious! Please secure the assistance of a physician, counselor, nutritional counselor, and/or personal trainer. It can be costly, but many of the items are do-it-yourself if you’re self-motivated or partnered with a friend or relative.


1. Revamp your diet for life.

2. Increase your exercise to _ hour every day for cardiovascular fitness and to tone your body.

3. Lose weight (for most of us) or gain weight (if your physician has told you that you are underweight or anorexic).

4. Have your teeth whitened.

5. Women: color your hair and keep it a little longer.

6. Pay attention to your eye contact and listening skills.

7. Brush up on your communication.

8. Stop whining and being negative.

9. Soften your approach.

10. Develop warmth and kindness.

11. Take up a new pastime or two that would be of interest to the opposite sex as well as to you, preferably physical activities that you can do together: golf, bicycling, tennis, walking, canoeing.

When to do all of this? You’re already too busy with work, friends, familial and charitable obligations–everyday tasks that take too much time, energy, and money already. When to make time for all this extra stuff? It’s up to you. Set up your exercise routine for when you watch the news. Instead of having a drink with a friend, how about walking with her at the park? Instead of the barbeque place with the gang, go to the salad place, or get the salad instead of the burger at the barbeque place. Try to select foods and activities that you enjoy so you won’t reject the whole darned plan.

Of course, making changes is our most difficult challenge. Every one of us can benefit from at least something on this list. Most of these are not maybe-I’ll-get-to-it-someday. They are crucial for your quality of life and a lot of them require a lifetime of attention. You might be dumpy or matronly and not know it, and those who love you aren’t aware of it either. Maybe you are slim but are whiny or high maintenance or abrasive, traits that rub people the wrong way. A great relationship is worth all the effort that you put into getting there and staying there. An invigorated life awaits. “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then, make a change. “

Who is Paula?

Sparks Matchmaking Service strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity. There is no charge for Paula’s services but donations are requested in order to improve the program and to attract new participants. Contact her at 314-721-3638 or [email protected].

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