November 27, 2009
Published December 5, 2009
Sarah Rubinson first noticed the man she would marry while he was studying. Benny was so focused he did not notice her.
“That’s not a mistake I’d make again,” says 30-year-old Benny Levy, who was born in Manchester England and moved to the town of Petach Tikva in central Israel with his family when he was a toddler. After his army service, he studied psychology at the Ariel University Center of Samaria. “As my passion was working with American Jewish youth,” says Benny, “I decided to enroll in the Pardes Educators Program, which leads to a teaching career in a North America.”
His passion coincided with Sarah’s passion. Sarah was a student at Pardes in Jerusalem a year behind Benny. She loved youth work and had directed youth activities for five years at the Shaare Zedek congregation in St. Louis, Missouri.
She spotted Benny in December 2007 and was “struck by his kavana” (concentration).
They saw each other again a month later. “This time I noticed Sarah,” says Benny. They were sitting next to each other on a flight from Israel to Poland for a Pardes seminar. “We are both morning people,” says Benny “and we were both wide awake on our 6 A.M. flight.”
Did they meet by chance? Sarah has a considered reply: “Early in life, I had been declared clinically dead. I now know that things happen for a reason. I’m here for a reason. Nothing happens by chance.”
For the first few days of the Poland trip, Sarah and Benny were practically inseparable, and on the third day, Benny got the courage to tell Sarah that he liked her, a sentiment she echoed.
Sarah, 26, says that since she was a little girl growing up in Colorado Springs, she had a vision of the guy she wanted to marry: “He would be Jewishly knowledgeable, culturally Jewish; and someone able to educate our children.” It’s not that Sarah grew up in an ultra-Orthodox home. Her family spans the spectrum from Conservative to Modern Orthodox.
“Religiously he was right for me,” says Sarah. “He’s got a very good heart and is always helping others. He’s also cute and is taller than me.”
“I used to hate dating,” continues Sarah. “I dislike small talk. But with Benny it was different. It’s not that he’s just like me. He’s an inner person – shy and calm. And I’m an outer person – active and energetic. But it works for us. I was guided by the advice of Shmuley Boteach, in his book “Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments” who suggests that this complementary situation works well.”
“Sarah and I met at the right time in our lives,” says Benny. “We both knew who we were and what we were looking for.”
On October 16, 2008, Benny proposed to Sarah while they were watching the sunset in the beach town of Nahariya in northern Israel. Benny says the engagement ring looks a little like a flower because Sarah was his flower. There are a total of 18 small diamonds around a larger diamond. In Jewish tradition, the number 18 represents life, and the ring represented the life they would share together, with the larger stone representing their lives uniting.”
Benny is a traditional guy, but American wedding customs seemed a bit strange to him – the idea of bridesmaids; cutting a wedding cake; and throwing a garter. But Benny stayed true to himself – he wore a tuxedo for the ceremony and immediately afterwards changed into a Polo shirt.
Sarah and Benny were married on August 23, 2009. Mazal tov!
Read past installments of Leah Hakimian’s column, ‘Godsend’
Read past installments of Leah Hakimian’s column, ‘Godsend’
