A first date is like a job interview, not a session with your therapist!

BY PAULA SPARKS, SPARKS MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Your date is not your therapist, so why are you telling him or her all your problems????? In therapy, you need to let it all hang out in order to get better. But if you tell all to your date, you’re probably not going to have a second meeting with that person.

A date, especially a first encounter, is the time to put your best foot forward. You have only a few seconds to make your best impression. It’s a lot like a job interview when each party is checking each other out. There may be a little tension while you both strive to determine whether you’ll be a good match for each other and whether to continue the relationship. The more job interviews you go on, the more proficient you’ll become and the more suitable position you’ll likely find. You’ll learn to ask more relevant questions to discover if it’s a good fit for you.

Making a good relationship happen involves a set of skills such as learning to adjust your schedule to allow another person into your life, maintaining good eye contact, and asking appropriate questions.

Don’t be afraid. Enlist anyone who can help you hone these skills. You’ll be glad you did. You must also improve or at least maintain your positive, upbeat attitude on each and every date. For some of us, we must go out with many new prospects before meeting the one. If you have a negative aura about you, you’ll repel even the right match. Keeping the date brief should help you remain upbeat. After all, it’s only an hour of torture. I am just a little facetious here. Meeting new people is supposed to be enjoyable, not a dreaded chore. If you have practiced and smoothed out your dating skills until they come naturally, the conversation will flow more smoothly and then you will be able to relax a little and enjoy getting to know your date.

If you and your date can put each other at ease and share a laugh or two, it makes the whole darned situation easier on everyone. Go on as many dates as you can and at some glorious moment, you and another person will click. Both of you will resonate together. It will make the entire drawn out process worthwhile. You’ll finally be in a situation that you love, with benefits. It might even be cozy and comfortable, like a therapy session!

So remember, if you hope to see positive results, exude your most positive self. And don’t be boring! But that’s another column . . . .

Who is Paula?

Sparks Matchmaking Service strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity. There is no charge for Paula’s services but donations are requested in order to improve the program and to attract new participants. Contact her at 314-721-3638 or [email protected]

Online at: www.sparksmatchmaking.com

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