Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, the highly respected scholar and author of more than 15 books, including “Rebbe,” a New York Times best-selling biography of the late Rabbi Menachem Schneerson, will be the scholar in residence at Traditional Congregation Dec. 14-16 for a weekend of learning. 

Telushkin is a senior associate of CLAL, the National Center for Learning and Leadership, serves on the board of the Jewish Book Council and is rabbi of the Los Angeles-based Synagogue for Performing Arts.

Among the topics Telushkin will explore at Traditional are “The 50 best Jewish jokes and what they say about the Human Condition”; “Words that Hurt, Words that Heal: How the Words you use Shape your Destiny”; and “On Being a Good Person in a Morally Complicated World and Why It is So Hard to Change.” 

The Jewish Light caught up with Telushkin for a telephone interview in advance of his programs at Traditional.

Two of your past books are “The Book of Jewish Values” and “Words That Hurt, Words That Heal.” In these bitterly divisive times, what bedrock values unite the Jewish people?

This is a subject I am very concerned about, namely civil discourse.  Children are taught a phrase, which I think is very foolish, namely that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. The truth is that throughout history, words have motivated people to pick up sticks and stones. From Jewish history we learn that one of the causes of the destruction of the Second Temple was baseless hatred. In today’s divided society, Jews are caught in the middle. When you go to the far right or to the far left, it results not in a discussion of what we agree on, but what divides us. We need to start meeting in the middle.

How can we resolve this problem?

What I am trying to do is encourage civil discourse no matter what issues we are discussing and find ways not of sharpening our differences, which can lead to hatefulness, but to identify those issues on which we agree, to move toward the middle to find common ground and a way forward. I believe that on virtually any issue it is unlikely that 100 percent of one side is correct and that zero percent is correct on the other.  There almost always are some issues we can agree on other than that the other side is wrong.

{{tncms-inline content=”<p><span><strong>WHEN:</strong></span> <span>Friday, Dec. 14 to Sunday, Dec. 16</span></p> <p><span><strong>WHERE:</strong></span> <span>Traditional Congregation, 12437 Ladue Road, Creve Coeur.</span></p> <p><span><strong>HOW MUCH: </strong></span><span>Varies by event, from free to $12-$25 per person</span></p> <p><span><strong>MORE INFO: </strong></span><span>Call 314-576-5230 or visit www.traditional-congregation.org. Paid RSVPs required.</span></p> <p><span>Telushkin speaks at the following events during his visit: </span></p> <p><span><strong>• Friday, Dec. 14:</strong> 5:45 p.m. Kabbalat Shabbat Services followed by dinner and presentation:“The 50 Best Jewish Jokes and What They Say About the Human Condition” ($25/person; $18/students).</span></p> <p><span><strong>• Saturday, Dec. 15:</strong> 9 a.m. Shabbat services and presentation: “Words that Hurt, Words that Heal: How the Words You Choose Shape Your Destiny” (free); also, at 7:30 p.m. he delivers the Jean and Bernard Kaplan Memorial Lecture on “On Being a Good Person in a Morally Complicated World: On Forgiveness, Self Esteem and Why It is So Hard to Change” with a dessert reception to follow ($12/person).</span></p> <p><span><strong>• Sunday, Dec. 16:</strong> 9:30 a.m. breakfast with 10:45 a.m. discussion of “The 21st Century: A Jewish Vision, One Day at a Time” ($12/person).</span></p> <p><span> </span></p>” id=”c3a26d7c-46a7-482c-aa68-9091249ab145″ style-type=”info” title=”Scholar-in-Residence Weekend with Rabbi Joseph Telushkin” type=”relcontent”}}

Has this approach actually worked in Jewish history?

After the destruction by the Romans of the Second Temple, there were those who gave in to despair. Rabbi Johanan ben Zakkai actually surrendered to the Romans and got permission from them to start his yeshiva at Yavneh. There were other factions who attacked him for caving in to the Romans. He was able to get agreement from them through respectful discourse. With the passage of time we can see and appreciate [his] wisdom.

Any other examples of words serving to heal after an initial breach?

Yes, when the founder of the Hasidic movement, the Baal Shem Tov started his teaching, he was denounced by the Vilna Gaon, one of the most respected and esteemed Jewish scholars of all time. Over time, the two movements reconciled to the extent that they are no longer at odds with one another, but respectful of their different understandings and approaches.

How has the power of words that heal played out in modern Israel?

David Ben-Gurion, Israel’s founding prime minister was bitterly opposed to Menachem Begin, leader of the Revisionist opposition. The two men had entirely different visions for the new Jewish State.  Eventually they came to reconcile and Begin went on to become the Israeli Prime Minister, who signed the peace treaty with Egypt. And so, Jewish history is replete with examples of how we can use words not to advance hatred, but to promote healing.