After their wedding last September, Erin Wolfman and Matthew May dreamed of spending their honeymoon in Israel. But the cost of such a trip was prohibitive, so they wound up going to Myrtle Beach, S.C. instead.

Although May didn’t grow up in the Jewish faith, he was thinking about converting even before he met Wolfman, who is Jewish. “I think my proactive thinking (about Judaism), coupled with Erin’s perspectives that were more cultural, put us both on an intimate path of discovering Judaism together, and taking it to a whole other level,” says May.

So when Wolfman, who works in the marketing department at Jewish Federation of St. Louis, heard that Federation was helping to spearhead an interfaith couples trip to Israel, she and May jumped at the chance to apply. In March, they joined three other St. Louis interfaith couples who, like them, embrace Jewish values and are building a Jewish home together. The goal of this weeklong trip was to explore Jewish, Christian and Muslim history in Israel, and allow each member of the couple to see Israel through a different lens.

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“Perhaps the biggest surprise of the trip was watching both the Jewish and non-Jewish members of the couple fall in love with Israel together,” says Karen Rader, director of the Israel Experience Center, which is part of the Central Agency for Jewish Education (CAJE). Rader also participated in the trip.

So did Rabbi James Bennett of Congregation Shaare Emeth and his wife, Amy. Bennett explained that about seven or eight years ago, he and Stephen Cohen, a vice president at Federation, were in Israel together and got to talking about how interesting it would be to do an interfaith trip of some kind there. The idea percolated for several years, but gained steam when Stuart and Susie Zimmerman entered the picture. Their two sons had married non-Jewish women who agreed to raise their children as Jews, in a Jewish home. 

“Both our daughter-in-laws didn’t have much knowledge about Judaism when they came into our family,” says Susie Zimmerman. “Fortunately, (Congre-gation) B’nai Amoona has been wonderful in its outreach. 

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“But we also had friends who are in similar situations with their children marrying non-Jews. We saw a need in programming for couples of different faiths to experience Israel together, and understand what being Jewish means in terms of our connection to Israel.”

So with seed money from the Zimmermans, along with Federation funding, the first St. Louis interfaith couples trip took place March 22 -29. The trip was not free; Susie explains that couples paid “on a sliding scale,” depending on what they could afford. She also says that it was the first of its kind nationwide, though Atlanta offers a similar trip and Philadelphia did one around the time of St. Louis.

One thing, though, that set the St. Louis Israel trip apart, was the diversity of the couples in terms of the age span (newlyweds and longer married), their backgrounds and sexual orientation.

Ed Reggi, who is Jewish, had been to Israel on a Rubin Israel Experience trip a few years ago with a group of St. Louisans, ages 27 to 45. While he described that trip as “fabulous and amazing,” he says being in Jerusalem with his spouse, Scott Emanuel, who grew up Catholic, was especially powerful. “Seeing Israel through his eyes was definitely a different experience,” says Reggi, who is a congregant of Central Reform Congregation, along with Emanuel. 

The two were married in Iowa five years ago because unlike Missouri, Iowa sanctions gay marriage. But on this Israel trip, surrounded by the other interfaith couples, Reggi and Emanuel renewed their vows in a ring-blessing ceremony, performed by Rabbi Bennett.

“One of the greatest parts of the trip was how well the group bonded. I had no idea this incredible group of people all live in St. Louis,” says Megan Zimmerman, one of the Zimmerman’s daughter-in-laws and wife of Jake Zimmerman, the St. Louis County assessor. 

Nearly every participant remarked on how close the group became and enjoyed one another. So much so, that they have gotten together after the trip and are all invited to Shabbat dinner at the Bennetts’ home this week.

“The trip really was life-changing,” says Megan, who grew up a “liberal Baptist” but now attends B’nai Amoona. “I know everyone says that but it didn’t register for me until I got there. 

“I really get it now. It’s a special place for Jews and non-Jews alike. I now feel like it’s mine, too. I just don’t think you can really get that in history books. You have to be there to feel it.”

Both Megan and her husband, in separate conversations, said they were each most affected by the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in the Old City of Jerusalem.

“For me, it was the single most fascinating place,” says Jake Zimmerman. “It got me a little frustrated because in the four times I had been to Israel in the past, I never was taken to this seminal Christian site. That to me was a true highlight of this trip. It was an opportunity to see an incredibly important place in Israel that I had never seen before and to see it through the eyes of people with very diverse backgrounds.”

Rader says in planning ahead to the 2015 interfaith trip, she hopes to add more Muslim sights to the itinerary, as well as increase the number of couples.

“We still want it to be relatively small because everyone seemed to like the intimacy,” she says, adding that optimally, the goal is for eight to 10 couples.

Meanwhile, Wolfman and May still can’t get over the misperceptions so many here have about Israel.

“When we told people we were going, they were all so worried about our safety,” says Wolfman. “We thought there would be checkpoints everywhere and the military with guns would be everywhere we went.

“Within a few hours, we felt so safe and so welcomed. We couldn’t believe how everyplace smelled so good, kind of like lavender, and how everything tasted so delicious.” 

For more information about the 2015 St. Louis interfaith couples trip, call Karen Rader at 314-442-3756 or email [email protected].