Have you heard the one about octogenarians Bessie and Golda? It’s the one where Bessie goes to visit Golda and her new baby boy (and that’s not the funny part). No? How about the one where the mortified husband reports to his rabbi that he meant to ask his wife to pass the butter but instead said something shockingly (but hysterically) different? 

Now think of them being told by old Jews – in the revue “Old Jews Telling Jokes,” which opens Thursday, May 8, at the New Jewish Theatre at the Jewish Community Center. If ever a stage production could issue some truth-in-titling guarantee, this is the show that can. 

“It’s not old Jews telling Jewish jokes, that’s not what it is,” actress Stellie Siteman says.

“That’s right,” director Edward Coffield says. “It’s just old Jews telling jokes.”

The show, co-written by Daniel Okrent – the inventor of fantasy baseball – and Peter Gethers, was adapted from a website called – any guesses? – OldJewsTellingJokes.com, which consists of videos of, yes, old Jews telling jokes, uploaded to the website. 

NJT artistic director and producer Kathleen Sitzer says hers is the first independently licensed production of the show, which has played in New York and Chicago. It consists of 70 minutes of Borscht Belt-style standup, skits and video, including one clip of the great Alan King that documents the evolution of a routine. 

Sitzer, who talked about the show last week at the JCC with Coffield, Siteman and cast members Bobby Miller and Craig Neuman, says the NJT closes each season with something “warm, fuzzy or funny,” and “OJTJ” was a natural for that slot. 

The show is also the first NJT production in its 17-year history with a cast and director who are all Jewish, “which for this particular show I think is critical,” Sitzer says. 

It also made casting difficult, Coffield said, because each person had to be able to act and tell jokes. But Coffield, production supervisor for the Repertory Theatre of St. Louis and a veteran comedy director, was determined to direct it. 

“I can’t tell you how I became aware there was this show, but the minute I became aware that there was a play called ‘Old Jews Telling Jokes,’ I thought, ‘I’m going to direct this play,’ ” he says. “And I didn’t actually care what it was about. I hadn’t read it. I hadn’t seen it.” 

Siteman, a veteran of the St. Louis stage who runs her own theater company, Max & Louie Productions, prepared for her role by going to New York to see the show and was struck by the bravery of staging it in St. Louis due to its risque nature. The jokes deal in a sometimes earthy way with every stage of life, including sex and marriage. 

Each member of the five-person cast, which also includes Dave Cooperstein and Johanna Elkana-Hale, is actually playing a character telling jokes. Each actor also has a monologue, Coffield says, “that is highly personal and, in a broad sense, we address assimilation, we address feminism, we address why humor is funny, why Jewish humor specifically is funny. And that becomes the heart and soul of the show.” 

Miller, who also worked in television for 40 years and has four Emmy Awards on his mantle, talks in his monologue about the influence of television on children of the 1950s, “when television was actually my babysitter.”

“And at that time, there were still places around the country where Jews couldn’t buy a house or an apartment,” he says. “And with the advent of television, people in Atlanta and Arkansas and Wyoming who never even met a Jew now had them in their living rooms every day for hours on end. So Jews and Jewish comedians were a major driving force in early television. And, really, acting brought Jews and Jewish humor to a national forefront that many parts of the country had never experienced.”

Sitzer asked: “Why this play? Not just why for us, but why does this play exist? And I think it’s because Jewish humor has a very distinct place in the canon of humor and jokes. The Jews have used humor for centuries …”

“Laugh or perish,” Siteman interjects.

“Yeah, right,” Sitzer says. “So we have a history, a very long history of humor, and it’s got its own brand. And it’s kind of an antidote to tragedy.”

Miller, who, with Coffield is an artistic associate at the NJT, says, “Often in humor, and this is true in schools, too, often humor is the greatest defense against bullies. If you look at the history of Jews in a contemporary way, I think humor in many cases was a defense against bullying.”

“Make your enemies laugh,” Siteman says. 

“And then run like hell,” Coffield laughs.

But the group emphasized that you don’t have to be Jewish to like the show. And Siteman, to big laughs from her peers, asks of non-Jews: “Would it hurt you to pay a visit?” 

Neuman, director of programming at the JCC who is returning to acting after a 23-year hiatus, says one definition of comedy he likes is that it’s “an exaggeration of the truth.” 

“It starts with that piece of truth and it blows it up so big that it becomes funny,” he says. “And I think what makes a Jewish joke starts with the Jewish truth: What is the truth of the Jewish experience? Whether that’s overbearing mothers, or professional people, People of the Book, studious – whatever it might be. And sort of taking that truth and exaggerating it to the absurd, in some cases. That’s what we’re working on. Where is the truth?”

Back to Bessie and Golda, as told by Miller: 

Thanks to the miracles of modern medicine, Bessie, an 80-year-old woman, gives birth to a healthy baby boy. She feels so blessed and excited, she calls her friend Golda from the taxi, tells her to meet her at home, she’ll show her the baby. 

She’s not home five minutes and Golda arrives. “You’ll have to wait,” Bessie says.

“Wait? Why do I have to wait? I took two buses and a cab to get here. Show me the baby.” 

(Bessie says,) “We’ll have a little coffee, we’ll have a little nosh.” 

(Golda says) “I’m not thirsty, I’m not hungry, show me the baby.” 

“When the baby cries, I’ll show you the baby.” 

“When the baby cries? Why do I have to wait until the baby cries?” 

“I forgot where I put him, OK?” 

If you want the punch line to the other joke, you’ll have to buy a ticket. The Jewish Light can’t print it.