Why don’t & lt;i & gt;YOU & lt;/i & gt; go out with HIM?

BY PAULA SPARKS, SPARKS MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Long before I was married I started doing matchmaking. Helping others in this way has always been a great passion of mine.

Often when I would suggest a match for a fellow female, she would respond, “why don’t YOU go out with him?” The answer was not so simple, but the question itself was a slap in the face. I guess some of the girls felt that I was palming off my rejects on them. Not so.

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In 1993, when I was at a singles program, I met an eligible bachelor, age 34, and I thought immediately of a friend of mine, also age 34: it seemed to me that the two of them would have a lot in common. The following day, I called my friend to tell her Iad met a guy I thought she would like, and I wondered if shead like me to try to contact him to see if head be interested in meeting her. She said, “okay!” So I looked in the phone book and was able to track him down at the large company where he worked. The rest is history. If my friend had said, “Why don’t YOU go out with him?” . . . well, I shudder to think what might not have happened.

The question, “Why donat you go out with him?” no longer applies, but now I get asked, “What’s wrong with him?” I guarantee you, something is wrong with him, just as there is something wrong with you. Most people have more qualities that are “right” with them; shouldn’t we be looking for those good points?

It happened to be that this gentleman I speak of was divorced when I met him and he had a young child from that previous marriage. Although not an ideal situation for my friend, she agreed to meet the fellow anyway. As time went on, this seemingly big hurdle decreased in significance as the new couple got married and raised three children together.

Are you ruling them out before checking them out? Are you just looking at their photo and not meeting in person? How about meeting and really making an effort to get to know people beyond a cursory profile?

And now I ask you, “Why don’t YOU go out with him?

For more information on events and matchmaking services, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] or 314-721-3638.