You rock, Daddio — it’s time to ‘honor’ the fathers


Amy Fenster Brown’s husband  Jeff   manages to catch some Z’s in public with kids screaming around him 

AMY FENSTER BROWN , Special For The Jewish Light

In a previous column I created an awards ceremony for moms, but we shouldn’t get all the attention. Dads deserve to be the butt of the joke … I mean, dads deserve praise, too. They should be awarded for all they do, especially when it’s ridiculous and embarrassing.

Let’s call the award the Daddio. It will be a statue of a man asleep at his child’s piano recital. Let’s take a look at the Daddio’s most popular categories.

The Don’t Do It Yourself Award

The nominees in this category:

The man who hires someone to do a difficult task like building a retaining wall and stands nearby the entire time with his hands on hips “supervising.”

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The dad who runs to the grocery store and ends up calling his wife every single time to ask things like, “Do we buy the pink milk or the blue milk?” It’s as if he doesn’t even live in your house.

The father who attempts to fix the faucet because the guy on YouTube made it look easy, but it wasn’t, and now he basically pays the plumber’s kids’ college tuition.

Most Creatively Frugal Father

The nominees in this category:

The guy who has not one, not two, but three gasoline pricing apps on his phone and uses all three to find the cheapest gas, then drives an extra 10 miles to go there for a fill-up (honestly though, who could blame him these days).

The father who goes to the drugstore and uses long-ago expired coupons because he never bothers to check the date, then asks the clerk if he can use it anyway.

The dad who loves fitness but won’t pay for a personal trainer, so he copies the exercises from a few feet away, stalking a guy who legitimately paid for a personal trainer.

The Night Night in the Day Day Award

The nominees in this category: The father who parks himself on the couch to watch the game, zonks out snoring before there is even a score, but wakes up the second you try to change the channel.

The man who consistently snores like a boy band made up of grizzly bears but denies it, saying he sleeps like a baby and if he snored, he would hear it.

The dad who happily takes his kids to the children’s museum, sits down for one minute and then falls blissfully asleep while dozens of scurrying youngsters scream in delight all around him. * See photo of my Baby Daddy excelling at this scenario in what was the loudest museum on earth.

Most Embarrassing Sideline Performance

The nominees in this category:

The sports spectator dad who yells orders to the team because he watches that sport on TV so he knows better than the actual coach.

The father who lets his daughter’s friends come over before homecoming but can’t get over how short and inappropriate the girls’ dresses are and cannot believe that’s what the kids are wearing these days.

The man who always takes pictures, stands in everyone’s way saying, “Wait, one more, one second,” and gets 15 shots of the same thing, yet none of them is actually good.

If you know any dads in any of these categories, be sure to congratulate them on their achievements as a contender for the Daddio.