I was once asked by the mother of an old friend, “Why I do a “Jewish Joke of the Day.” I responded and she thought I should share my answer with you.

I believe as Jews, we love to laugh. I believe Jews love to laugh at themselves and laugh at the very things we as Jews, identify as being Jewish. I believe we do it out of love, and not with malice. I also believe that in history, we have used humor to add levity to serious Jewish concerns such as war, antisemitism, and the historical mistreatment of our people.

Jewish humor can be difficult to define. As William Novak and Moshe Waldoks write in “The Big Book of Jewish Humor,” it is easier to describe Jewish humor in terms of what it is not than what it is. “It is not, for example, escapist. It is generally not cruel and does not attack the weak or the infirm. At the same time, it is also not polite or gentle,” they wrote.

Not everyone gets every joke or finds every joke funny. If you don’t like Jewish humor because you believe it plays into “tropes” and “stereotypes” you are certainly entitled to that feeling, but please do not read further. Again, you are entitled to not enjoy Jewish humor, just as others are entitled to enjoy it.

If you agree with this definition of why we celebrate Jewish humor, you’re invited to read on. If you have a joke, please email me at [email protected]

Your Jewish Joke Of The Week

Henny Youngman’s Top 10 One-Liners, in reverse.

10. Two dumb guys go bear hunting. They see a sign saying, “Bear Left,” so they went home.
9. Be it ever so homely, there’s no face like yours.
8. I still love the oldie about the convict who was going to the electric chair and called his lawyer. The barrister replied, “Don’t sit down!”
7. The food on the plane was fit for a king. “Here, King!”
6. He’s a real pain in the neck; of course, some people have a lower opinion of him.
5. Your presence makes me long for your absence.
4. I took my wife to a wife-swapping party. I had to throw in some cash.
3. My doctor put his hand on my wallet and said, “Cough.”
2. Take my wife… please!
1. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

15. I miss my wife’s cooking — as often as I can.

14. That’s a nice suit you’re wearing. When did the clown die?

13. A panhandler says to me, “Mister, I haven’t tasted food in a week.” I said, “Don’t worry, it still tastes the same.”

12. My wife will buy anything marked down. She brought home two dresses and an escalator.

11. You’re one of the main reasons for twin beds.

20. A guy says to a doctor, “I’m having trouble with my love life at home.” The doctor says, “Take off twenty pounds and run ten miles a day for two weeks.” Two weeks later, the guy calls: “How’s your love life now?” “I don’t know, I’m 140 miles away!”

19. A woman wrapped herself in Saran Wrap to take weight off. Her husband comes home, sees her, and says, “Leftovers again!”

18. My mother was 88 years old. She never used glasses. Drank right out of the bottle!

17. What’s the latest dope — besides you?

16. A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, “You’re crazy.” The man says, “I want a second opinion!” “OK, you’re ugly, too!”

For his birthday, Horowitz’ mother gives him two ties—one blue, one red. Very classy, very tasteful. Later, in the evening the two meet for dinner and the son is wearing one of the ties. His mother takes one look at him and says:

The cruise was horrible—it never stopped raining. But the food was great, especially the buffet. I had two of everything

Feel free to download and steal this joke for yourself. 

Your Jewish Joke From Previous Weeks

Your Jewish Joke From Previous Weeks