Growing up in Tulsa, you said you felt like an outsider being Jewish. So I can’t help but wonder, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, does being Jewish influence your writing? 

A lot of Judaism comes out of storytelling. That tradition of storytelling has impacted me. Being a Jew in non-Jewish Tulsa, Okla., having to explain what Hanukkah was to my classmates, having an outside perspective, being a minority, tends to make you more introspective, maybe even more creative. I’ve certainly relied on humor and laughing through hardships, which I think is part of the Jewish way, while trying to be honest to my own experiences in my writing.

Did you have a favorite character on “Sex and the City” or one you particularly liked writing for? 

I really loved writing for all of them. Miranda was so hilarious when she was humiliated, and so many humiliating things tended to happen to her. I say all of them because I have a little of each of them in me. 

How is writing for TV different than writing a memoir? 

It’s very different. When writing an essay, or even writing a book versus an essay, I can be as frank and as open as I want. There’s a lot of freedom.  I love reading and hearing other memoirs because it’s something that is true. It’s my favorite kind of writing. 

You can tell your story with TV … but there are time limits and other writers and actors and the network. There are lots of other factors you  have no control over, too. Sometimes that can be good – actors can take the words and deliver them with eloquence or such great humor. But there is something so gratifying about writing a chapter for a memoir and shaping it like I want it and having it reach the reader directly from me.

Your book is a no-holds-barred take, albeit a funny one, on marriage and its aftermath. Did you edit yourself through the writing process or just lay it all out there and let the chips fall? 

I practice storytelling a lot around town, trying out an essay at a venue to see if it connects with an audience. There’s something about telling a story in person that can help you get the right tone. I hope audiences receive (what I’m writing) in the spirit that I’m telling it, especially when I stumble on something that feels scary to talk about. 

The chapter about making more money than your spouse – that’s difficult to talk about and even more difficult to be likable and honest and sympathetic when you’re talking about it. So when I’m in an area like that with a lot of challenges, I feel I’m in a good area. 

I try to push through the societal feeling that maybe I shouldn’t say that aloud or bring it to anyone’s attention.  Worse case scenario: I’m going to say it and people will judge me and think I’m a horrible person. There’s always that risk.  

What was the most surprising thing you realized about day-to-day marriage? 

That I have a lot of issues that only came up because I got married. I realize I have a lot of control and intimacy issues. 

Your first husband was gay. How did you miss the memo on that? 

He will now say he always knew, which is frustrating. But he hadn’t been with any men when we got married. He was hoping he could be with a woman in a “normal” life, which he felt would make everything easier for his family and for him. I’m glad he finally came out. I think when someone doesn’t know or isn’t authentic or honest with himself, it’s really hard for everyone. It was hard for me to decide he was gay when he hadn’t decided. 

You and Ian wanted a baby from the get-go, but you had such difficulty conceiving. What would tell other couples in a similar situation? 

My advice is more to the people supporting the couple going through it. Even if it seems obvious that a couple should move on to adoption, or move on to egg donor, or give up trying to have a second kid, it may be obvious to all except to the couple trying. It’s a process the couple has to go through. 

Now, of course, looking back, I say we should have adopted from the beginning because we are so happy with our daughter. But we had to get there. For me, it definitely made our relationship stronger because of what we went through together and how we love and supported each other

How has having a child changed your marriage and affected your writing? 

It has changed both a lot. Ian and I were so bonded in the heartbreak and heartache of trying to have a child that now we are probably a little less bonded. When you’re loving and putting effort into this little person, you have to really make an effort in your marriage. 

With writing, I first took some time off just to enjoy her. But one thing I have found surprising is that I have more energy for writing, probably because I no longer have to devote the energy to trying to have a child. Now that I am taking care of one, I have more brain space for creative things. I feel more fearless. I’m hoping to direct a movie. I figure if I can raise a child and have no idea what I’m doing, I can face a film set. 

I heard this book was optioned as a sitcom by Fox. When will we see it on TV? 

Good question. I adapted it with Jake Kasdan (executive producer of “New Girl”). The president of Fox who commissioned it is no longer there, so it probably won’t be with Fox. But I just sold a different idea to ABC that combines motherhood and a lot of issues for women called “Dish.” 

What would a plum writing job look like at this point? 

I’d love to write an original movie that gets made. I’m such a fan of Melissa McCarthy – I’d like to write a movie for her that’s funny. I’d also like to write a children’s animated film with the hope it becomes part of the fabric of childhood. I love the idea of writing children’s books.